A Mom Brilliantly Explains Why The ‘Supermom’ Stereotype Is So Toxic
"If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable."
Many mothers strive to be a supermom — someone who does it all and has it all, who is there to the rescue everyone and who never falters. But while that all sounds very heroic and important, is it even the right goal to have? And is it even attainable anyway?
One mom is going viral on TikTok for taking a strong stance on the matter. Educator and podcast host Laura Danger has no interest in being a supermom. And in fact, she will go out of her way to make sure she’s never trying to be one.
“I will fight anyone in the street who calls me a supermom,” she begins her video. “I am not a super mom. I never want a be a super mom. I never want anyone to refer to me as so strong. Jack of all trades. We literally couldn’t do it without her. If you weren’t here, everything would fall apart.”
It’s the opposite of what many women grow up hearing, and it can be both hard and liberating to listen to her words.
“I never want to be so essential to an organization or a group or even my family that everything relies on me,” she continued. “I want to be important enough that I matter. I want to bring something to the table. But I do not want to be the one sustaining anything.”
In addition to all that, she talks about how she deserves rest and ease — another hard thing for many moms to admit, even when they are exhausted.
“I do not want to be so strong,” she said. “I want to live a life of ease. I want to be empowered to rest. I am not a supermom. I will never be a super mom.”
At the end of the day? It’s about overcompensation and equity.
“If you were to match the energy and effort being put in by other people, and give just as much as them, and the whole thing would fall apart, you are overcompensating to a point that it was unsustainable,” she concluded. “If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable.”
Her impassioned video quickly racked up views and comments, with many moms thanking her for breaking down the supermom stereotype.
“This video gave me an epiphany. Please keep doing what you do,” one person wrote.
“I thought for so long that this is what I HAD to be. I actually strived to be the one to hold everything together and be so strong,” another said.
“It’s like those job postings asking for a ‘rockstar’ they just mean they want someone to overwork,” one person observed.
So, the next time that you feel like you need to above and beyond in order to be a hero, think about what you really want out of your life, and if maybe you are trying to attain someone else’s ideal that’s not even reasonable or sustainable in the long run.
