Why New Parents Are So Unprepared For The Shocking Cost Of Childcare

There are a lot of expenses associated with having kids — furniture, diapers, formula, medical care. But for the first five years of their life, little if anything comes close to the cost of childcare. But while most people understand that fact prior to welcoming their little one, few can truly grasp exactly what that will look like for their family.

That comes down to a number of factors, the first being that the price of childcare varies wildly depending on location. According to the nonpartisan non-profit USA Facts, in Mississippi, families can expect to pay a little over $4,800 on average per child per year. In Massachusetts, that number balloons to more than $23,000. Per the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), childcare in the United States is considered affordable if it does not cost more than 7% of a family’s income: all states fall short of this goal. In Hawaii, the average family will spend more than 20% of their annual income on childcare.

But there’s another reason families might experience daycare sticker shock, as TikTok creator Paige (@sheisapaigeturner) points out in a recent video.

“Whenever people talk about the cost of childcare there will inevitably be someone who says, like, ‘Well didn’t you know this? Didn’t you know that childcare was expensive? Didn’t you do your research?’” she begins. “But the funny thing is you can only do so much research. Because what most people don’t understand is that tuition rates for daycares in particular are often gatekept. You cannot get access to tuition rates unless you tour a center.”

It’s true! When my first child was born we had absolutely no idea what to expect because even within the city where we lived (New York) “average cost” was a matter of zip code. And sometimes even less posh zip codes could surprise you with their monthly rates.

“It is incredibly common for daycare centers not to give out tuition rates without a tour,” Paige continues. “And the problem with this is if you are in the early stages of family planning you are not likely to go tour every single daycare center. And so you might research online what the averages are, but those averages might not reflect the rates in your town specifically or just in general, because they’re always changing.”

That’s another aspect few think about: daycare rates are rarely locked in, and while costs often drop after a child turns one (infant to teacher ratios are higher than they are for older kiddos), there’s still often an annual increase. Paige shares she recently saw a 5% hike in her kids’ tuition.

“This does families a huge disservice and so when we say to people ‘Well didn’t you know how expensive it was?’ No! Not really! Because unfortunately the cost is changing every single year — it’ll go up anywhere between 5 to 10% — but also this information is not readily available.”

“Why do they do that?” asked one commenter on TikTok in regard to gatekeeping the tuition. “It doesn't matter how good a center is or how much I love it. If it's out of budget, my kid can't go. Why waste everyone's time with a tour?”

“I did research on daycare rates before getting pregnant,” says another. “Now having toured places just six months later, the actual rates in my area are 35% higher. What you can find online is outdated and misleading.”

“I did a lot of research and then it took years to get pregnant during which a global pandemic happened,” laments a third. “You can do all the research you want but you can’t predict the future.”

But one thing you can predict, based on the past few years, is that these prices probably aren’t coming down any time soon. According to reporting from CNN, parents saw a 23% increase in tuition rates between 2017 and 2023.