Do Girls Really Mature Faster Than Boys — Or Does Society Just Embrace Boyhood?
One TikTok creator wants us to really think about the messages we send girls about their interests.
It’s an adage I have heard my entire life, and you probably have, too: girls mature faster than boys. Innumerable anecdotes and even scientific studies point to what has, for many, become an immutable truth.
But TikTok creator Julie Koontz (@julie__koontz) wants us to rethink why we think that, and presents a theory about why, actually, this might be yet another example of the Patriarchy putting its horrible, sausage-like thumb on the scale.
“Do girls actually mature faster than boys,” she asks, “or do we just embrace boyhood?”
“My son loves Hot Wheels, and in 20 years, if he’s still obsessed with cars, no one’s going to bat an eye,” she continues. “If he loves super heroes, guess what? They make literally rated-R super hero movies for adult men. Video games? Yeah, don’t need to explain that one.”
Contrast that to stereotypically “girly” interests — Barbie, princesses — and few carry over even into tween and teen years.
“And even when women try to tap into the typically male dominated hobbies, like sports, they’re not recognized as being real athletes,” Koontz continues. “Women in sports are only just now getting the air time that they deserve, definitely not getting the pay that they deserve still. We have to be at the top of our craft to be taken seriously, and even then we’re not. Men’s hobbies and men’s interests are not only supported, they’re validated and encouraged,” observes Koontz, who says that not having lifelong interests creates an “identity crisis” for many women.
She says that she’s been noticing this phenomenon more since having a son.
“[My husband] can connect with [our son] over so many things because the interests stay,” she notes. “But if I have a girl, what do I connect with her on? The few things that girls have to play with that can carry them into adulthood and actually make sense serve — you guessed it — men.”
Playing with baby dolls, playing with their little kitchen sets: these things all carry over into domestic labor which women overwhelmingly find heaped onto their plates along with their other responsibilities.
“It is overdue that we give our girls a hobby and we celebrate women for having the same interests,” Koontz concludes.
This all makes sense to us. And it also makes sense that there’s a growing desire to carry aspects of girlhood through to our adult years: as Koontz points out, there’s little other explanation for why the Barbie movie and the Eras Tour did so well.
Commenters also found themselves struck by this new way of looking at things.
“Yes! I tried to find an adult dancing class because my daughter is now in dance and I loved it,” says one. “[But I] couldn’t find one that is just for fun or a hobby in my area. You are either a professional or nothing. And that’s just one little interest.”
“I’ve been a baton twirler since I was little,” recounts another. “But in college, I was ‘showing off.’ Though no one batted an eye at guys doing frisbee and hacky sack.”
“Even clothing stays similar for boys,” observes another. “My son grew out of kids clothes around 11 and I went to the men's section and was still able to buy him the same Spiderman, Minecraft, and video game shirts!”
Honestly, it’s worth thinking about, particularly for women and older girls who are struggling to find a hobby that really sparks joy for them. Maybe all they have to do is look backwards and embrace it. It seems to have worked for men...
