Meghan Feared Harry Would 'Lose Another Woman He Loved' When She Was Struggling

Meghan didn’t want Harry to lose another woman he loved

In her bombshell interview with Oprah in March, Meghan Markle revealed that her increasingly isolated life without support from the Royal Family made her contemplate suicide. Now, in his new docuseries, Prince Harry is revealing even more heartbreaking details about that incredibly painful time for the Duchess of Sussex.

The Me You Can’t See, a docuseries about mental health that Harry produced with Oprah, premiered this week. In it, the prince opened up about Meghan’s mental health struggles while she was pregnant with Archie.

“The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now be put in a position of losing another woman in my life, with a baby inside of her, our baby,” Harry said. “The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t ‘lost it.’ She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up.”

Harry also went into greater detail about the night Meghan shared her suicidal ideation with him — right before the couple had to attend a charity event at London’s Royal Albert Hall.

“Meghan was struggling,” he explained. “People have seen the photograph of us, you know, squeezing each other’s hands as we walked into the Royal Albert Hall in London for a charity event. She was six months pregnant at the time. What perhaps people don’t understand is, earlier that evening, Meghan decided to share with me the suicidal thoughts and the practicalities of how she was going to end her life.”

Harry added, “I’m somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with it. And of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle, and then we had to get changed and had to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event and then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything’s OK. There wasn’t an option to say, ‘You know what? Tonight we’re not going to go.’ Because just imagine the stories that come from that.”

Harry said that at the event, Meghan broke down where no one could see her.

“While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I’m feeling sorry for her, but I’m also really angry with myself that we’re stuck in this situation,” he said. “I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family. Because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I’m not gonna get from my family what I need.”

Knowing all this, it’s becoming more and more understandable that Harry and Meghan stepped back from their roles in the Royal Family. No one should have to experience something so terribly painful, and I hope Meghan has better support now in their new home in L.A.

If you or someone you know needs help, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. You can also text TALK to 741741 for free, anonymous, 24/7 support in the U.S. from the Crisis Text Line.