70 Perfectly Cheesy Pizza Jokes For When You're Feeling Saucy

Is there anything better or more fun than pizza night? The answer, friends, is “definitely not.” There are just so many options to consider when you’re ready for a pizza. Are you more of a Domino’s thin crust girl or a Pizza Hut pan pizza person? Which is better: New York style, Chicago deep dish, or “Detroit style?” If you answered, “Please don’t make me choose,” then congrats! You are on our foodie level. But, the choices don’t stop there. How much and what kind of sauce do you want? What about cheese? Do you have breadsticks before or a kid-approved dessert after? Should you save a few slices to eat for breakfast? And, of course, there’s the most important pizza-related question: What toppings do you want? Tonight’s order: New York-style pizza topped with double-pepperoni. For our side, we’ve decided on some deliciously cheesy pizza jokes.

After all, we need clean jokes and laughs to keep the kids from bouncing off the walls while we wait for the ‘za. Jokes can fix even the worst days and quiet the loudest of rumbling tummies. They’re a fun, easy distraction. That’s why there are literally jokes about everything. From bananas to pumpkins, alpacas to pigs. If you’re into it, there are jokes about it. So, while we wait for our grub, let’s grab a few laughs.

1. I’m going to open a restaurant that only serves crabs and pizza.

I’ll call it the Crust Station.

1. What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?

“Slice, Slice Baby.”

1. What are you if can’t decide what kind of pizza to get?

You’re indeSLICEsive.

1. What do you call a fake pizza?

A pepperphony pizza.

1. What’s the difference between a good pizza joke and a bad one?

The delivery.

1. Wood fired pizza?

How’s pizza gonna get a job now?

1. How do you fix a broken pizza?

With tomato paste.

1. What do you call it when a tired dad makes pizza?

Papa Yawns Pizza.

1. I am a little ambivalent about pizza.

On the upside, it has some great toppings. On the downside, it doesn’t.

1. Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?

Because he’s such a fungi!

1. Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?

Because they kneaded the dough.

1. I like how my local pizza place cuts my pizza into 6 slices instead of 8.

I can’t finish 8 slices.

1. What did the kid say after eating a frozen pizza?

Well, that wasn’t very thawed out.

1. I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day…

I should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

1. What did the Dalai Lama say when he walked into a pizza parlor?

He says, “Make me one with everything.”

1. What did the pizza say when it went out on a date?

“I never sausage a beautiful face.”

1. If pizza could talk, what would it say?

Probably lots of cheesy things.

1. What do you get if you cross 27 knives and a pizza?

Little Caesars.

1. I fell asleep with a pizza in the oven today.

Burned 2000 calories.

1. What’s the difference between a donut and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family.

1. Why did Jabba win the pizza contest?

Because no one outpizzas the Hutt.

1. What did Palpatine say to the intern when they asked how many pizzas they needed for his birthday party?

“Order 66!”

1. What does a pizza wear to smell good?

Calzogne.

1. What’s a poodle’s favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

1. A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.

The man who uncovered it says, “It’s a pizza of our pasta.”

1. What did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?

“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”

1. Wanna hear a pizza joke? Oh, nevermind!

It’s too cheesy!

1. Why did the hipster burn his mouth while eating his pizza?

He ate it way before it was cool.

1. What do you call a sleeping pizza?

Pizzzzzzzzzzzzzzza.

1. What did the pepperoni say to the cheese?

“Slice to meat you!”

1. Why did the pizza start his own business?

He wanted to make some dough.

1. What type of person doesn’t like pizza?

A weir-dough.

1. I asked the waiter, “Will my pizza be long?”

“No,” he said. “It’ll be round.”

1. What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?

“You don’t pepper-own me.”

1. …and what did the delivery guy say in reply?

“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”

1. Where do pepperonis go on vacation?

The Leaning Tower of Pizza.

1. What did the pepperoni say to the chef?

“You wanna pizza me?”

1. What’s the difference between pizza and pizza jokes?

Pizza jokes can’t be topped.

1. Did you hear about the pizza place on the moon?

Great pizza, but no atmosphere!

1. What does an anteater like on its pizza?

Ant-chovies.

1. Why did the man cut his pizza with a smartphone?

It’s cutting edge technology.

1. To teach my kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner…

They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don’t live in a swing state.

1. Why do restaurants put pizza in square boxes?

Because they don’t cut corners.

1. What did the pizza maker say before robbing a bank?

“I may love making pizza, but I really knead the dough.”

1. What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common?

Doh.

1. What do you call it when someone spreads germs all over the pizza?

Little Sneezers.

1. What is a pizza’s favorite movie?

Pie Hard.

1. Every time a new pizza delivery man comes to the door and notices the smell of the last pizza man, they storm off.

It’s an unfortunate Domino effect.

1. What did the pizza chef say when he dropped a meat lover’s pie?

“I never sausage a tragedy!”

1. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta way, but his legacy will become a pizza history.

1. Why didn’t the restaurant finish making the take-out pizza order?

They ran out of thyme.

1. What did the pastry chef say when the pizza chef asked him for help?

“I cannoli do so much.”

1. Why do people like making lasagna from scratch at home?

It’s pretty much a pizza cake.

1. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

Pizza Puns

Just when you thought we couldn’t get any cheesier. Pizza puns are just as gooey with fun and laughter as jokes. We’ve collected a bunch from the internet just in case you needed material for your next pizza party!

1. You will always have a pizza my hut.
2. That’s going to be a pizza cake.
3. Really, it’s the yeast you can do.
4. This is the dough-main for all you pizza aficiona-doughs.
5. I a-dough you!
6. You can be here today and gone tomato.
7. Get out there and cheese the day!
8. You’re a real pizza-work.
9. I have been trying to write a new pizza joke but I can’t work out the delivery.
10. My local pizzeria has just made the world’s largest pizza base. I’d like to see someone top that.
11. Olive you so much.
12. For pizzake!
13. Don’t pizza-round the bush.
14. In pizza we crust.
15. It’s crust a matter of time.
16. I’m head over yeast for you.