What Is Scaffolding In Parenting? Chrissy Teigen Asks Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant

When you’re a parent — and, let’s be honest, a mom specifically — it’s tempting to jump in and do things for your kids because, well, you’ve got a lot on your plate. It can feel easier to just do it yourself, the way that you think things should be done. But ultimately, this is doing our kids a disservice. They need to build confidence and learn to do things themselves (yes, even if it’s not the way we would have done it). That’s precisely the lesson Chrissy Teigen learns on the latest episode of her Audible podcast series, Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen.

In an exclusive audio clip obtained by Scary Mommy, Teigen has an eye-opening conversation with organizational psychologist and bestselling author of Hidden Potential, Adam Grant. During their conversation, Teigen asks Grant how parents, teachers, coaches, and other educational figures in kids’ lives can help create structures that support sustained growth.

And to that, Grant explains the concept of “scaffolding.” Listen here:

“Scaffolding is one of my favorite concepts in learning theory,” Grant begins. “The basic idea is that a lot of parents and teachers and coaches think ... if I want to help someone get better at something, I have to hands-on help them in every step. And that can be good for initial skillbuilding, but it doesn’t help in confidence.”

What’s a better approach, then?

“What great teachers, coaches, and parents do differently is they provide some initial instruction and then they create a little bit of scaffolding. So, they might demonstrate how to do something and then let the kid watch and try to emulate,” Grant explains. “And that’s a little bit like the scaffolding you set up so that a construction can scale a building. You’re allowing them to reach a height they can’t get on their own. But then at some point, you’re going to remove the support, and they are gonna figure it out on their own.”

Grant goes on to say that by teaching a child something, then modeling it for them and stepping back, you’re hopefully positioning the child to be able to “climb to the next level.” In turn, this instills them with confidence in their own capability to keep improving.

It’s a lightbulb moment for Teigen, who shares four kids with husband John Legend: Luna Simone, 8, Miles Theodore, 6, Esti Maxine, 2, and Wren Alexander, 19 months.

“For me, one of the hardest parts of teaching children is wanting them to do it the right way, and my way is usually the right process for me,” Teigen admits (same!). Learning about scaffolding, though, clearly provided Teigen with an important perspective shift.

“John and I changing our mentality to thinking of it as putting up some scaffolding is a much better way to go about it, because they’re going to get to that answer eventually,” she says. “And it might not be the way I wanted them to get to it or as quick as I wanted them to get to it, but they will find it eventually.”

Scaffolding is a learning concept that can be traced back to psychologist Lev Vygotsky’s cognitive development theory. It was one of the tenets of this theory, as Vygotsky believed kids can only learn so much on their own — they need parents, teachers, or mentors to guide them in their learning journey.

Teigen tackles parenting topics like scaffolding, along with deep dives on everything from breath work and sobriety to healthy sleep practices and self-acceptance, every week on Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen. New episodes drop on Thursdays on Audible.