Powerful Video Shows How A Pastor Mom Has Accepted Her LGBTQ+ Daughter
“The risks of not accepting your child are at best deeply, deeply wounding them and at worst, burying them.”
Too often, faith and queerness are seen as diametrically opposed identities that cannot coexist. You’re either Christian or gay, Muslim or trans. But the intersection of faith and sexuality is not only a place where a person can thrive, but an opportunity to come together with those in both communities.
A new documentary short film from The Trevor Project — the leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ+ young people — tells one such story as part of its Learn with Love campaign.
The documentary features Jubilee, a 19-year-old bisexual college student and her mom, Angie, a Methodist pastor living in rural Iowa. Angie was raised to believe homosexuality was a sin. When she began to suspect Jubilee was gay, she wasn’t sure what that might mean for her faith or her daughter’s safety. Jubilee herself was unsure of how her mother would react to her coming out, and so she didn’t do so right away, creating some distance in their relationship.
“I’ll be honest with you; because I was in a small, conservative town, and I was working in the church, and there was all this pressure ... I was afraid for her,” Angie says in the film. “I didn’t want to know because as long as I didn’t know I could keep her protected.”
Ultimately, however, Jubilee became more confident in herself, which allowed Angie to see her daughter more fully. The acceptance Angie came to is not just a feel-good story, but vital.
“From my perspective, the risks of not accepting your child are at best deeply, deeply wounding them and at worst, burying them,” she explains. “At the end of the day, what I kept coming back to was, it's okay to have some fears to question, to struggle for a little bit. But it's also okay to love them, and to support them 100%. In fact, the second part really is non-negotiable. You have to love them. And, and I'm going to do it as best I possibly can.”
The 10-minute documentary is part of the Trevor Project’s three-year public awareness campaign — Learn with Love — announced last September and supported by a grant from the Leona M. and Harry B. Helmsley Charitable Trust.
“No one should feel isolated simply because of who they are, yet the LGBTQ+ community is too often met with hostility," said Walter Panzirer, a Helmsley trustee, in a statement. “We know that LGBTQ+ youth in rural states have higher rates of suicidal thoughts, anxiety and depression. It's essential that they know they're not alone.”
In addition to spreading awareness of suicide among LGBTQ+ young people, the Learn of Love campaign aims to connect youth in crisis with the care they need, and equip target audiences with tools and trainings to address the public health crisis across nine states served by Helmsley's Rural Healthcare program.
LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers. According to new data, suicide attempts and ideation are even more common among LGBTQ+ young people living in rural areas. This may be due not just to lack of acceptance but less access to mental health care compared to non-rural peers.
“Storytelling is such a necessary tool to support The Trevor Project's mission of ending suicide among LGBTQ+ young people, and it is critical for reducing stigma associated with LGBTQ+ families,” said Jaymes Black, CEO of the Trevor Project. “The ability to hear from real, everyday Americans like Angie and Jubilee allows people in every corner of the country to say, 'Hey, they're not so different from my family.’”
