This Mom Uses A Mental Health Hack To Deal With Toddler Tantrums

As TikTok belts out its (likely) swan song before being banned in the U.S. on January 19, users are pulling out all the stops. Some are making content they wouldn’t under typical circumstances (because who cares about lost followers when it’s all going kablooey?), others are opting to be deeply unserious (because why not have fun with it at this point?), and some are sharing their favorite moments from this silly little app. One of those is @newenglandrunnr — whom I’ll call Runnr — who wanted to share the best mom hack she ever got from TikTok: treating her child’s meltdowns and tantrums as though they were anxiety attacks.

“Like I would treat them for myself,” she explains. “So you’re treating the body’s response to it ... you can talk to them about why that’s not acceptable later.”

And, honestly, it makes a lot of sense. As with an anxiety attack, the brain is out to lunch while the body is taking over with pure chaos, which is really scary for the small part of your brain that is still online. Even approaching toddler tantrums with that kind of insight can be helpful, but Runnr offers a unique coping mechanism to help your little one snap out of it.

“One of my favorite things to do right now with my three year old when he’s having just a really tough time is I will give him an ice cube and I will just let him go throw it in the bathtub,” she says. “Instantly calms him down.”

I’ll admit to being a little confused about how this worked, but Runnr explains. “He instantly wants to do it because he’s able to throw something, and then the cold from the ice cube tricks the nervous system into calming down because it distracts it. [It is] the best calming technique that I’ve ever found. So if you’re looking for a way to calm kids’ meltdowns, just treat it like how you would anxiety for yourself.”

Commenters praised the method, and even chimed in with some of their own.

“It’s all about co-regulation at this stage!” one agrees. “They are experiencing life for the first time. Regulate with them and they’ll learn skills for life.”

“My 3 year old and I have started using something similar to the Bluey episode where they gather all their angry and upset then throw it far away,” says another. (For the curious: that episode is “Stickbird,” an absolute banger.) “It makes him laugh when I do it and then he forgets he was mad.”

“The mom guilt after being annoyed with my toddlers meltdowns all day when it’s like an anxiety attack,” laments a third. But, as Runnr replies, whomst among us hasn’t been annoyed by our kid? No, they can’t help it, but it’s still annoying. But hopefully, with the right tools and advice, it can be a little bit easier.

Also, like, LMK where y’all are getting your parenting advice from after TikTok goes away cuz...