TikTok Mom Frustrated Having To “Apologize” For Autistic Daughter
“I was tired of people treating her like she’s less than human.”
Traveling with kids, even under the best circumstances, is never easy. That’s especially true for parents of children with disabilities.
One TikTok user, @AverageMillennial18, recently posted a video highlighting the fact that much of the difficulty, however, doesn’t necessarily stem from her child but from other people who don’t understand.
The OP most often uses her TikTok account to advocate on behalf of her child, who has been diagnosed with autism and is non-speaking.
This advocacy can be anything from explaining how augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) devices work to explaining how certain political policies could affect children with disabilities. Her recent video highlights the mental and emotional exhaustion that parents can feel when it comes to those who do not show a desire to learn or be compassionate.
“I’m on vacation with my non-speaking autistic daughter,” she explains, “and one thing that I’m tired of doing is apologizing for her existence.”
She goes on to explain that she often finds herself apologizing for her daughter’s lack of speech, which is often met with dirty looks.
“It weighs on you,” she continues. “Day 3 and I was in tears. I was tired of people treating her like she’s less than human.”
She explains that she understands “it’s hard” because people don’t quite understand the nature of her child’s disability and might initially mistake it for rudeness, but while some children on the trip have been very nice to her, “the ones that are mean really, really leave the sting on you.”
“Now I understand why parents wear the vest that says ‘Be kind: Autistic’ or a big puzzle piece shirt because that’s the only way people are going to somewhat know, and even then, they’re not going to truly understand,” she says.
She goes on to note that while this might make it easier on her and her daughter and prevent people from “being so mean,” she’s also not comfortable announcing her child’s diagnosis “like a little target.”
“I don’t know,” she concludes. “I am tired of apologizing for her existence this trip.”
TikTok users in the comments, many of whom identified as moms raising children with autism, offered sympathy, compassion, and advice.
“I feel this so much,” replied one commenter. “My daughter is 13 and nonverbal, it’s exhausting.”
“I don’t explain to adults,” wrote another, “but I sometimes will say to children trying to engage with my son that he may not answer you but would love to play with you. Hugs mama.”
A third succinctly wrote, “I’m so sorry. Inclusion is so important and I wish more parents would teach it.”
Fortunately, the OP replied to one commenter that during the vacation she and her child met a very nice family and ran into them again.
Kind people can’t eliminate the unkindness of others (or the pain that comes with it), but hopefully, they were able to make this TikToker’s family vacation just a little bit nicer.
