A Mom Shares The “Three Agreements” She And Her Spouse Have About Child Care

Nothing can cause stress in a household faster than poor communication and teamwork between you and your partner. The result can lead to kids who aren’t taken care of, lots of building resentment, and a family and relationship in trouble. But, at the same time, getting everyone on the same page, and operating under the same rules, can be hard, too.

Here’s one couple who seems to have their stuff together.

Mom and content creator @sweatingatnaptime is super busy juggling kids, a career in HR, and a big interest in fitness. And her husband is also balancing work, kids, and exercise, too. Luckily, they seem to have found a system that works really well for them, based on three main “agreements” that keep their family afloat.

She shared them in a short video.

“The first [agreement] is if one of us is doing something, that person is not responsible for child care,” she begins. “So if one of us is cooking or cleaning or exercising or working, or just doing something that is taking up our attention, the other person is 100% responsible with child care and not allowing kids to disturb the person who is consumed with something... And it’s so nice to get uninterrupted time and do what you need to do. And Sean and I are both equally capable at managing children for an extended period of time without needing the other person.”

Well, that one alone sounds like a great start.

“Second thing, we send everything to our work calendars,” she explains. “So: appointments, school events, weddings, workout classes, whatever. We just keep sending calendar invite to each other throughout the day, and it’s so helpful. I know some people have a family calendar, but I really struggle looking at multiple, and Sean figured that out pretty quick. And then I have my calendar private at work, so people can’t see what I have going on.”

Love this. Having one central calendar is totally key and prevents so many disasters. Using your work calendar, which is already required, is a great solution to solving the multiple calendar problem.

“And the third thing is that Sean and I obviously care about exercising, so we try to take different rest days. And we try to make those rest days a weekend so that you only have three weekdays when you’re trying to coordinate two workouts, which I think is one of the hardest things to do between work and kids and all that.”

While this third thing might seem a bit weird to anyone who doesn’t exercise six days a week, you have to take it in context: exercise is their huge, important hobby, so they make sure both of them have time for it during the week. For your family, it might look different, like making time for reading, resting, PTA, or friends.

Down in the comments, people were loving how the couple had such a respectful, equal partnership.

“This is why I don’t feel burned out — equal partnership,” one person shared.

“You guys remind me of my husband and I,” another person wrote. “It’s so important to support each other and it’s teaching the kids so much at the same time!”

Others who use some of the agreements only had good things to say, especially about the first and second agreements — it seems to work across partnerships, from what we can tell.

There were no negative comments to be found, which is... quite something to find on the internet today!