Are Strangers Criticizing Your Parenting? Why Not Become Absolutely Unhinged
TikTok user @preppychicagomom has developed the perfect response to those who criticize her toddler’s love of dresses and dolls.
It’s hard out there for a mom. Kids — even the most mild-mannered, agreeable wee ones — present incredible challenges to the average parent. But sometimes, what makes parenting the most annoying is other people. If you’ve ever had a stranger negatively react to your parenting, you know how tense that situation can be. But TikTok user @preppychicagomom — Kate — has found the best and most entertaining way to deal with backseat parents: match that chaotic energy.
Kate’s son is almost three, and most days he enjoys wearing dresses. He also likes playing with make-up and dolls. “It’s just who he is,” she explains simply. And in a perfect world that’s the end of it, right? Because who cares what sparks joy in a literal toddler? Sadly, toxic masculinity is alive and well and it absolutely hates when men and boys don’t shun femininity. But Kate has learned the perfect way to deal with people who feel the need to give their (uncouth and unsolicited) opinion on the matter: “You have to be the most unhinged version of yourself.”
Oh don’t you worry: she gives examples and they’re *chef’s kiss*.
“One time, someone in Costco asked why I would let my son do that and I asked him if he was a pedophile, because why was he looking at my son,” she says. “So then I screamed really loud ‘Are you a pedophile?!’ and he stopped.
“Another time an old man told me that [my son] was going to grow up to be gay, as if I would give a f*ck, and I told him he wouldn’t have to worry about that since he’d be long dead by the time my son grew up.
“There have been many other things that I’ve had to say to conservative old grump-ass b*tches,” she concludes. “And the thing is that I will always be my most unhinged self.”
Commenters largely broke down into two categories: people who’ve been there (“My new go to phrase to people [like that] is: ‘this is not the safe space you think it is.’ That shuts people up and confuses them super fast.”) and people who wished someone like Kate had been there for them.
“I was shamed for not being girly, hating dresses/earrings etc as a girl,” said one. “So it's very lovely seeing parents accept and protect their children as they are.”
“My brother was into ‘girly’ things since he was 3 and our mother resented him, called him names and eventually disowned him,” related another. “When I stood up for him years later she told me she hopes I have a son like him to feel her shame…I have a little boy just the same now and he is so so easy to love and I feel zero shame to be his mom. I will be as unhinged as I need to be to protect my boy.”
Another simply writes “Adopt me, queen!”
And let’s not sleep on the kids who go through life absolutely unbothered...
“My then 4-year-old son was carrying a Barbie and a man asked him ‘Why are you carrying THAT?’” one mom recalls. “Before we could react, son said ‘Because she can't walk on her own.’ Guy actually laughed. Best memory.”
“In our house you're allowed to paint your nails when you turn 3, and when someone told my son he couldn't paint his nails, he confidently said ‘No, it's okay. I'm 3!’” replies another. “Then the guy said ‘painting nails is for girls’ and my son said ‘No, I'm a boy’ and patted the guy on the arm in the most innocently condescending way. Magical.”
It feels gross that we’re still having these interactions in 2025, but it’s nice to know that at least some of humanity has evolved some impeccable defenses and repellants against such toxicity...
