out of control

Mom Feels Like A “Failure” After Seeing Her Son’s Ridiculous Valentine's Day Haul

“Why did we not get the memo that you're supposed to go all out even though they're only three years old?”

by Katie Garrity
A mom feels like she didn't do enough after seeing all of the intricate treats her son got for Valen...
@jbarrera404/TikTok

A TikTok mom has crowned herself with a huge “parent fail” after showcasing her son’s Valentine’s Day haul from school. After she sent her son to school with small paper valentines with an eraser attached, she was stunned when her son came home with entire gifts from other classmates.

Jacqueline Barrera Dowling posted a now-viral TikTok where she and her husband scan through all of the goodies that her son, Max, came home with after preschool.

“Why did we not get the memo that you're supposed to go all out even though they're only three years old?” she says in the video.

As she goes through the haul, she points out gift bags from students filled with snacks, toys, and Play-Doh. She also notes a small package of M&Ms that a mom crafted to look like a butterfly.

“Who has time to do that? I feel like such a failure,” she says.

She also points out valentines with puzzles, monster truck toys, and personalized valentines with Max’s name on them.

“Do you guys want to know what Max sent into his classroom? This. We sent him these,” she says while showing old-school paper valentines with a small eraser attached. “Okay. Old school. Old school Valentine's cards.”

“These kids can't even write yet, and we sent in a plain old Valentine's card with an eraser. We have got to step it up. Should we go buy Visa gift cards? We need to go buy some Visa gift cards to drop off to these kids tomorrow like I feel unworthy. Eventually, they're going to need the eraser, right Max?”

Though Dowling’s remarks are surely in jest, there is so much truth behind her exclamations. It’s hard for a mom or parent not to take this kind of stuff as a loss. We think we’re doing the best we can by getting the valentines with a little extra something and sending them on their way, but then they come home with these extravagant gifts.

It’s hard not to feel like a failure. Surely, most moms who go the extra mile are not intentionally doing this to make other parents feel like trash, but there are so many moms like Dowling who end up feeling this way.

Several people came to the defense of Dowling, praising the mom for getting the job done in the best way she could.

“You did amazing,” one user said.

Another joked, “Me watching this after I just put 24 of those exact spiderman eraser Valentine’s in my son’s backpack for school tomorrow 👁️👄👁️”

“I sent a lollipop and he came home with a robot made out of applesauce and juice box and candy,” another wrote.

Several other users, who deemed themselves “those types of moms,” chimed in with their reasoning for being extra.

“As someone who is an extra type of mom, It’s ok girl. don’t feel obligated we don’t expect others to do the same we just genuinely enjoy doing it lol,” another noted.

Another echoed, “trust me when i say that the moms who do this just wanted someone to do it for them when they were younger 🥺🥰”

“Those are moms that have been mom-ing for a while type of gifts. This isn’t their first rodeo lol. You’ll get ‘em next year! 😂,” another said.

In a follow-up video, Dowling shared the Valentine’s Day basket she made for Max filled with candy, art supplies, books, and snacks.

“At least the gift basket I had prepared for him will ease the pain a little bit,” she wrote in text overlay on the video. All’s well that ends well!