Mom Wants To Know If She’s Wrong For Shutting Down Her Mom's Grandma Name
“She thinks it’s endearing and says she will be sweet as honey to her grandkids.”
The politics of grandparent names are weird. Which grandma gets to be Mimi and who is stuck with Nana? Which one is Grandpa and which one is “Grandpa [First Name]”? Who decides all of this? The grandparents? The parents? The child? If opinions there differ, things can get heated pretty quick, as recently happened in a post on our very favorite subreddit “Am I The Assh*le.”
Redditor Dazzling-Nose-2781 has been thinking about starting a family recently. Her mother says she does not want to be called “grandma,” which, OK! Sure! There are plenty of options out there for the “Grandma” adverse. But apparently, standbys like Mimi, Nana or Abuela aren’t quite what this potential grandmother-to-be had in mind.
“[She] wants them to call her ‘honey.’ She says she wants something uniquely different,” the poster explains. “She thinks it’s endearing and says she will be sweet as honey to her grandkids.”
Dazzling is skeptical.
“She and her husband call each other honey and I consider it a romantic pet name and think it is odd as a grandparent name,” she continues.
Her siblings agree. Her husband, on the other hand, doesn’t think this is a hill to die on and they should simply let Dazzling’s mom go with whatever name makes her happy.
“But I cringe every time I think about it and want us to come up with something else we all like,” she says. “She thinks I’m being the assh*le and it will be her grandchildren so she gets to decide. AITA?”
Now AITA is a place where people go specifically to cast judgement on those asking for it ruling “YTA” (You’re The Assh*le), “NTA” (Not The Assh*le), “NAH” (No Assholes Here), or “ESH” (Everyone Sucks Here). So it’s pretty unusual that most of the comments lack such a verdict. Rather, this one is full of advice and personal anecdotes.
“Your kids pick the grandma name anyway, and they wont be able to pronounce ‘Honey,’” replies one Redditor. “Just say OK to Honey, and then when your kids can't say it and call her ‘O-nee’ roll with it.”
“This is what’s known as putting the cart before the horse,” offers another. “You’re not even pregnant. Trust me, there will be plenty of things to bump heads with your mother once the baby is real and on the scene. What difference does it make? Plenty of time for conflicts to arise.”
“I know at least three grandmas who are called Honey,” says a third. “My nephews call their grandma Honey, my friend's kids call their grandma Honey and a coworker has a Honey. It's normal to me.”
The post — which has almost 7,000 upvotes and nearly 4,000 comments as of press time — seems to have unwittingly waded into the increasingly murky waters of “grandparent names” which appear to be getting more varied and, frankly, more weird as young Boomers and elder Gen-X enter their grandparent era. So we’re guessing debates like this won’t be going anywhere anytime soon, honey.
