This Mom Totally Nailed The Guilt Of Parenting Teens During The Summer
“When they were younger there was so much you could do with them...”
Summertime with young children is simultaneously nerve-wracking and wonderful, depending on the day (or hour... or minute).
At the best of times, it’s a time for gentle adventures, carefree outdoor play, and special trips. At the worst of times, it’s chaotic and exhausting as you try to find something to occupy your kiddos so you can accomplish literally anything. But what happens when those days of chaos and joy are behind you?
TikTok user @cyndygdub recently vented on TikTok about the mom guilt that comes with parenting teens and tweens over the summer.
“You know what’s not talked about enough? The guilt that comes when you have teens and preteens during the summer and you’re home with them, but ... they’re too old to go to a playground every day, they don’t really want to go to a pool every day. They will hang out with their friends sometimes, but it’s like, when they were younger there was so much you could do with them,” she says.
“Even just playing in the backyard! Your days could just be filled with playing and now they just want to be in their rooms.”
Cyndy goes on to explain that it’s not as though she doesn’t try to plan activities for her kiddos. She offers to head to the movies or go bowling, but she is almost always met with “No, we’re good.”
And while she knows that’s true, that fact doesn’t always make her feel OK about it.
“I still have that constant guilt that I’m not doing enough, like their summers are being wasted. I should be doing more.”
Seeing friends post pictures of trips on social media, or even more frequent activities with younger children certainly doesn’t help.
“You think ‘What more can I be doing now that would give my kids a good summer?,” she said.
Cyndy goes on to say that this guilt is internal and not the result of anyone pressuring her to do anything, but it’s still a constant, unwelcome companion in her life these days. Relatable!
“It’s my own anxiety, it’s my own shame and guilt as a mother but does anybody else feel this way?” she asks. “It’s really hard for me this year.”
The comments were full of parents who understood exactly how she felt.
“The teen transition is so hard,” writes @DisneyLnd4Fun. “It’s hard to bring them joy now, used to be so easy.”
“This phase is not talked about enough!” agreed @a_n_g_i_e_o_n_t_o_k.
Others note that teens have a different sense of fun than we do as adults or parents and that it’s not something we should take personally or worry about.
“I remember my own teen years, and I know how peaceful I was in my room,” observes @LeeCruiser. “I had my first Walkman, listen to music, translate the lyrics, read books. It didn’t feel [like] a waste of summer.”
What former teenagers among us can’t relate to that? But the comment that resonated the most, with more than 1,500 likes, was from @shesatenbutshehitscurbs:
“It might not be as much guilt as it is grief.”
And wow, hitting us right where it hurts! Because as hard as the little kid years are, they’re full of good memories and the kind of simple joy we know only visits our lives for a little while. It’s amazing to see our little ones grow up into their own people, but sometimes, we miss our babies.
