This Dad Listed Off What Makes A “Lazy Father”

After I transitioned to working from home full-time, a little crack began to form in my marriage.

See, I was still working full-time, but from the comforts of my couch. For some reason, there seemed to be some kind of misunderstanding between me and my husband now that I was a remote worker. Just because I wasn't commuting, sitting at a desk, and eating a crappy salad in the break room with my coworkers, I was suddenly not working as hard or “as much” as he was.

Should I mention the fact that 50% of that time working from home, our young daughter was home with me?

He was still going into an office, driving 30 minutes to and from work, and having back-to-back meetings from 9 to 5. When he got home after a long day (a day just as long as mine), he was not inclined to help with any sort of housework.

I was doing all the laundry, putting away the dishes, vacuuming, picking up toys, etc. I was doing it all. After several serious conversations (and couples therapy!), we navigated past this uneven balance of housework. Looking back, I realized I was married to a lazy father.

“So, here are the things that make you a lazy father,” content creator @beigedad begins.

“You are constantly passing off your child to your wife when your child is fussy. You don't even try. You’re lazy. You think that just because you work outside of the home, you are exempt from household tasks? You're lazy.”

He is fully aware that his take on fatherhood might ruffle some feathers, but he’s not baking down from his take.

“I can already see the comments coming in. It happens all the time. People think that I am a stay-at-home dad. I'm not a stay-at-home dad. I work 40 hours a week in my full-time job outside of the home. I also do a side job where I work 15 plus hours a week,” he explained.

“I do all of this stuff. I still do laundry, dishes, clean the house, all of these tasks around the house. It's not an excuse if you work outside of the home.”

He goes on to explain why he is calling out dads in particular and not just husbands or lazy partners.

He continues, “The reason that's relevant for fatherhood is because when you have a child, there is more laundry and there is more cleaning, resetting the playroom, things like that. You don't change diapers. Baby's on formula, and you don't bottle feed. You think giving your child a bath is just not your thing. You're lazy.”

“Every household is different. If you and your spouse have a really good system thing — this video is not for you. If you’re a mom and the father of your child resembles any of these characteristics, be bold. Send this to them.”

“If you're a man and you resemble a lot of these characteristics — you're the reason why the divorce rates are so high. I told you, I'll double down. If you don't understand what I'm saying, that's okay. You might be that lazy father.”

While there definitely has been some progress made with millennial dads, they still have a long way to go.

In a 2016 study, The Pew Research Center found that 57% of millennial dads consider being a parent as part of their identity, which is only one percent less than mothers. And that is so super great! However, being a present parent is only half of the job.

A 2020 Gallup poll found that married or partnered heterosexual couples in the U.S. continue to divide household chores along old and tired traditional gender roles. A full 58% of women do the majority of the laundry at their house while over half do the most of the cleaning and preparing meals.

There is still so much more work to be done, lazy dads!