This Mom's College-Aged Kid & His Friends Always Hang Out At Home During Break — Here's What She Does To Make That Happen

We all had that one friend’s house where we’d always go to hang out, right? Their parents had the best food, a fridge stocked with every single drink, and a welcoming, comfortable environment that made it the place to hang out as kids.

Now, with more and more of us suddenly having teenagers of our own, we have to decide if we want that house to be our house. And once they are off and out of the nest, how to maintain that “house that all the kids gather at” status during college breaks?

One mom shared her fail-safe tips for becoming “that house” for your kids and their friends, and honestly, parents need to lay that foundation way earlier than you’d think!

“What makes your kid's high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break” Amy White wrote in text overlay on a sweet video of her son and his friends chatting around her kitchen table.

In her caption, she expands on what exactly she did that keeps the kids, even college-aged, keep coming back. She says it’s simple!

First, parents need to start laying that foundation early.

“It starts when they were LIVING AT HOME!! Were you the hang out house for your kids in High School?” she asked. “Were you the house that had food and drink (non alcoholic) that was a free for all with the kids? The kids knew we had food, BUT they also knew I didn’t care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge.”

She also notes that she was never the house that served kids alcohol or allowed drinking in her home. Contrary to what the general public may believe, this did not deter her son and his friends from coming over.

“We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!” she wrote before continuing.

“My boys felt the freedom to ask me if their friends can come over in high school which makes them feel that same freedom to ask if their college friends can come stay at our house. They know my answer is 99% of the time YES. You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was ‘open’ to their friends in high school, they know it will be ‘open’ to their friends in college,” she wrote.

White also has a message to moms who may struggle with the idea of having a bunch of kids at their house, specifically making messes at their house.

“All you OCD Mamas who like a ‘perfect and clean home’ — DON’T let that be the reason your home ‘is not the home’ 🙅🏻‍♀️ I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house ‘clean,’ 🙅🏻‍♀️ There’s WAY MORE TO LIFE!” she wrote.

“🫶🏻Mamas, to Junior High and High School kids — it’s worth being ‘the house,’ so let go of control & get to know your kid's friends. #itstartsnow 👊🏼 #bethehouse”

Several parents related to Amy’s house, sharing their own “be that house” stories.

“Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it🥴,” one user shared.

Another said, “Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays❤️”

One mom had some follow-up questions when it comes to ownership and responsibility of the boys and their messes.

“Would love this but how much expectation do you have for them to clean up after themselves? I had a group of 14 yo boys over and they had pizza on the carpet, candy on the floor etc… should this be expected?” they asked.

White responded, “first of all, I would expect they wouldn’t destroy your home and hopefully pick up after themselves. But, that talk would be strictly with my son the next day. I would tell him it’s his responsibility to clean up after his friends and make his friends clean up. I also would tell him that if they didn’t somewhat clean up, he wouldn’t be allowed to have kids over anymore. This starts with ur own kid IMO.”

Being “that house” is all about creating a welcoming, comfortable environment, and we get to be involved in our children's lives, know their friends, and provide a safe space among the chaos in the world. Win-win-win!