To The Moms Who Have The First Baby In The Friend Group
“People like me wouldn’t survive without you.”
I had my first baby at 28 years old, and while this is six months older than the national average, as far as me and my friends living in New York City were concerned, I was basically an almost-30-year-old teen mom. In our social circle, it was weird enough that I was married in my 20s but having a baby in my 20s was unheard of. Now, as many of my cohort are having their first children, I’m preparing to send mine to middle and high school next year.
It’s weird to be the first one in your friend group to have a baby. You don’t have anyone to bounce ideas off of. Because as much as older members of your family — your parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles — might have invaluable, timeless wisdom to impart, they’re almost certainly not going to be up to date on the latest medical recommendations or must-have products. It really does help to have peer-to-peer support. Alas, those among us who are first have to go without.
TikTok creator and new mom Becca (@thereal_becca) recognizes the plight of first-time moms who are the first in their friend group to take the leap, and wants to give us our flowers...
“If you were the first person in your friend group to have a baby, you deserve a prize. You deserve one million hugs, endless words of affirmation, a little trophy, whatever it takes for you to feel appreciated. Because you should feel so appreciated,” she begins.
“If you’re out there braving parenthood without a group chat of fellow moms to tell you how to do it, you are so impressive to me. I have a six week old baby, and I could not do this without my friends telling me about their experiences with newborn babies.
She goes on to share the story of one of her best friends who had two babies before anyone else in their friend group had one.
“She is like our spiritual and educational leader,” she continues. “She knows everything. It’s like she read all the books so we don’t have to. Whenever there’s something going on with my baby, she is my first step: I ask my friend and then I ask my pediatrician, and so far she’s had the exact same answer as the pediatrician. If you were the first parent and you did it all on your own, without a group chat to tell you what to do and now you’re paying it forward, I just want you to know that you are an incredible person, and people like me wouldn’t survive without you.”
Hold on, I think I have something in my eye...
Look, no mom has it easy. But some moms have it uniquely hard, and “The First Mom” is a particular kind of plight. So it’s nice to see that at least we can help other moms figure things out... and that we’re appreciated for our experiences.
