Kids On Planes Pt. 1,397: Apparently They Shouldn't Even Have Luggage Now

Babe, wake up: the new hot take about kids on planes just dropped! When it comes to these annoying and unnecessary social media screeds, I’ve gotten to a point where I truly don’t know what’s rage bait and what is someone’s genuinely held, unhinged opinion. Because, sure, I have certainly seen my fair share of trolls say obviously absurd things in an effort to get clout. But I’ve also seen otherwise normal, reasonable humans become apoplectic with rage if they see a toddler within a five mile radius of JFK. They’ll say things like “No one under the age of 12 should be allowed on a plane” or “If you can’t drive there your baby shouldn’t be going anyway.” So you’ll pardon my confusion at not knowing whether the following plea from a small account on Threads was the former or the latter...

“Please stop letting your little kid carry on a roller bag,” it begins. “It’s unnecessary and takes up bin space for people who actually need it. Give them a backpack or something that fits under a seat.”

My first thought wasn't so much a thought as a deeply felt eye roll. A combination “are you kidding me?” and “here we go again.” My second thought was “Hey parents, great news! It turns out your kids don’t need to pack anything when they go on vacation! Haven’t you heard? They can fit everything they need into a backpack that will fit under their seat!”

The poster went on to explain that a child’s items should either be checked or put “in a larger bag for you and them.”

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, you could be more courteous of others?” he asked another Threads user. “ You’re barking at that moon trying to justify small roller bags for children as carry ons.”

Fortunately, folks in the replies weren’t having it either.

“This made me so f*cking angry,” wrote one Threads user. “Been on probably 200+ flights and never once experienced this. I have, however, seen people put jackets up there, suitcases the wrong way, small bags that would easily fit under their seat, and an array of other ridiculous sh*t adults do up in that space. On every flight I’ve ever been on. Y'all just f*cking hate kids and it’s weird as f*ck.”

“The backpack my kid carries is the entertainment and snacks so they aren't screaming, kicking your chair, or otherwise being the nuisance that all passengers without kids complain about,” said another. “The roller bag is her actual clothing, shoes, and other things she needs for a week. Also consider kids can't carry heavy things for prolonged periods of walking. The roller bag allows them to port their own things and not make the parents pack mules.”

For me, this all comes down to a very simple fact: a kid’s ticket costs the same as anyone else’s and every ticket is entitled to a piece of carry-on luggage.

Assuming everyone’s luggage fits in the little measuring thing at the gate, anyone with a ticket is entitled to a spot in the overhead bin. Why is it acceptable that adult passengers use that space but not child passengers? Maybe that kid is going on a long trip and needs two suitcases — one they checked and one they didn’t. Maybe the family doesn’t want to check any bags. Maybe there’s an important medical device in there that doesn’t fit in a backpack that they didn’t want to risk checking.

Maybe they just felt like bringing the bag they were entitled to.

We’ve been doing commercial aviation for over 100 years now: you’d think that would give people enough time to work through these big feelings, but I guess not. And so, for the time being, we’re stuck having to argue with people who think children on planes is entitled, but demanding very particular flying experiences is not.