This Aunt’s Advice On Healthy Boundaries With A Partner Is What Every Teen Needs To Hear
“Your comfort and boundaries mean more than anybody’s approval of you.”
Plenty of women will tell you that sitting in a salon chair is the epitome of a safe space. Their hair stylist is part-therapist, part-friend, part-aunt who will lovingly tell you exactly how it is.
In a recent TikTok from @twintalk67, run by curly hair stylist and mother of twins Tricia Hunter, we see this dynamic play out beautifully when Hunter’s relative Sophie comes over to get her hair done... and get some advice: “What do you do in a situation where someone wants to get physical with you but you don’t think you’re ready?”
Whether because of the nature of the question or being on camera (or both) Sophie, who appears to be a tween to young teen, looks nervous as Hunter and one of her daughters stand behind her.
Hunter approaches the answer thoughtfully but clearly.
“You definitely do not ever want to do anything that you’re not comfortable with,” Hunter says.
“You have to value your feelings more than you value the other person’s, because if they valued yours and knew you weren’t comfortable with it, they wouldn’t try to pressure you to do something. ... You don’t ever do anything, especially when it comes to your body, that you’re not ready to do. Period. And if they really care about you, then they will understand that and they will be patient with you.”
“But what if you know that the person wouldn’t be OK with it and they would immediately leave you?” Sophie asks quietly.
Hunter’s answer is faster this time but no less conscious of the girl’s feelings.
“Well then that’s nobody you want to be with,” she says. “If ... someone cares about you, they care about how you feel. Period. So don’t ever go against how you feel to make someone else happy. When you’re in a relationship, people compromise, but you don’t ever compromise when it comes to your body.”
Honestly, these words should be printed out on a big banner in every young person’s bedroom to read as they drift off to sleep so that it really sinks in. This is some of the most vital advice someone can receive about relationships. The sooner they know it and can internalize it the better.
Commenters on the viral video agree.
“Ohhhhh so you’re THAT type of auntie,” writes @viibezwitj. “I love this so much!! What a safe space for the girls.”
“And she’s listening,” observes @mayawrld999. “She trusts you.”
But not all the praise was heaped on Hunter: While Sophie got lots of adults in the comments sad to see this issue be presented to one so young, others gave her points for bringing it up in the first place.
“She is so brave to ask!” applauds @druidgal. “I love the bravery of Gen Alpha coming forward and asking questions we were too shy to ask.”
“Because if we Millennials or older asked, majority of us would be reprimanded for even being in that situation in the first place or bringing it up,” agrees @marshjell.o. “So glad society as a whole is growing.”
Overall, a master class in talking to trusted adults about the big things going on in your life and how, as a trusted adult, to maintain that trust moving forward. Well done, everybody!
