An Influencer Suggested Sunbathing Your “Yoni,” & The Responses Are Hilarious
Yes. Your "yoni" is exactly what you think it is.
Spring is slowly creeping up on us, which apparently can only mean one thing: It's time to let your vajayj see some rays. At least, that's what one influencer is getting quite a bit of attention for suggesting. In her now-viral TikTok post, self-professed "hippie sista" Ash tells her more than 35k followers that they're disconnected from the Earth. Her solution? Spread your legs and let the sun shine on your front butt. Seriously.
This isn't the first time someone on the internet has suggested "yoni-sunning." This particular video, however, may have spawned the best stitch and ensuing comment thread yet. We have British TikToker @bexxybexxx to thank, who kicked it all off with a comical response.
"Beg pardon, madam, but... what?" she starts, going on to say, "Are you not worried about the local farmer seeing you, noticing your ham sandwich from across the way? May I ask what's in your basket? Is it just a collection of sun cream for your yoni? Thank you for bringing this brand-new sport to my attention. I won't be participating, though, I'm afraid, as my yoni is nocturnal."
As if @bexxybexxx's retort wasn't hilarious enough, the comments section proved a treasure trove of internet wit-izens. For your reading pleasure:
"My yoni is an indoor 🐈 🤣" – @jenna.raychelle.
"I'm a redhead. My yoni would catch fire if I showed her the sun." – @theamandabarron.
"My yoni has spent her entire life in the dark. She's like one of those cavefish with no eyeballs." – @antlereddoe
"My yoni is a werewolf, furry and only appears during a full moon." – ladyragnarok76
"My yoni is battery operated, no solar charging required 😂" – @carnivorous_cupcake
"My yoni gets all glittery in sunlight like the vampires in Twilight." – @jeanette8302
"My luck, the Google satellite would fly over, and it would forever be on Google Earth." – @mbaker241992
"My yoni is like Sasquatch, hairy and doesn't want to be seen." – @trashqueen_13
"I want to know what the supposed benefits are. Photosynthesis? Antimicrobial? Does it recharge like a crystal?" – @c.scott_24
"Erm, the last thing I need right now is flap burn 😂😂" – @dawnieclaypole
"I don't think my HOA will approve this." – @brookethackery
Some commenters raised legitimate concerns, like sunburn, ticks, and even screaming cicadas, echoing the sentiments of many people with vaginas who definitely don't want to explain yoni-sunbathing at an Urgent Care visit.
Of course, people love to tell you what you should be doing with your vagina, va-jay-jay, hoohah, or, uhhh, your yoni. Would you believe it's been almost a decade since Gwyneth Paltrow first suggested steaming your vagina? This was followed by the 2018 claim on the "benefits" of inserting jade eggs into your Tantric Trapper Keeper, which proved to be so wildly unsafe that her "lifestyle brand," Goop, was fined $145,000.
Even beyond the starlet's strange obsession with penis fly traps, there's no shortage of sketchy advice about vaginas. Everyone and their brother (especially their brother) has an opinion on the state of your lady bits. Now, it seems the newest thing you should be doing for your cave of wonders is... sunbathing it?
Before you drop trou in a field, please know that medical professionals advise against yoni-sunning. Not only does it pose actual health risks (think: melanoma) but there's also no concrete scientific research supporting the idea that it's beneficial to sunbathe your bajingo.
And if you have neighbors, they probably advise against it, too.
