Wait... Do I Have ADHD? 10 Sneaky Signs, According To Therapists & Neurology Specialists

The thought occurred to me (as so many do) when I was scrolling on social media one night: Could I have ADHD? I’d just watched a reel of a mom who most definitely does, and as she joked about her little behavior quirks, my husband chimed in, “Hmm, who does that sound like?” He was diagnosed with ADHD last year but has long sworn I’m neurodivergent, too. And while I have no doubt that’s true in some capacity, I guess I just never connected the dots to ADHD — my behavior quirks look pretty different than his. But what I’m learning now is that there are a lot of “sneaky” signs of ADHD that many people just chalk up to their personality.

For a long time, ADHD was thought of as something that only affects kids, and more specifically, boys (more on this in a minute). In recent years, though, it’s become much more common for adults of all genders to be diagnosed with this disorder, so it seems as though we’re really just now discovering all of its nuances. What difference does it make knowing you have ADHD versus being unaware? Well, adult ADHD can interfere with your daily functioning in ways you likely don’t realize. Having the proper knowledge, tools, and maybe even medication can help ensure your neurodivergence is working with you, not against you.

To better understand some of the surprising signs of ADHD in adults, I asked experts to share their insights. Of course, the only way to truly get diagnosed is by seeing a doctor, but their answers may be the nudge you need to schedule that appointment.

In what ways can undiagnosed ADHD affect your life?

Alan Deibel, a licensed clinical professional counselor at Grow Therapy, says that undiagnosed ADHD can pop up in all sorts of undesirable ways. “Adults who are undiagnosed may show problems with executive functioning, procrastination, substance abuse habits, excessive muscle tension pain, and poor emotional regulation,” Deibel explains, adding, “ADHD may also lead to health issues, including sleep issues, depressive disorders, anxiety, low self-esteem, and fatigue.”

Left untreated, Deibel points out that it can also affect your relationships and social interactions.

Why does ADHD often go undiagnosed in women?

Here’s something I was very surprised to learn: ADHD is widely underdiagnosed in women. “Up until fairly recently, ADHD was thought only to affect boys,” says Deibel. “As a result, research on ADHD centered mostly on males, and there was little information on how it affected women and girls specifically.”

Due to this widespread myth that the disorder primarily affects men, many therapists and psychiatrists don’t screen women for symptoms, and many educators don’t suggest screening for young girls who may be exhibiting signs in the classroom.

But the reality is that ADHD can look very different for us.

“Women and girls with ADHD are more likely to have inattentive symptoms (less obvious to outsiders) than hyperactive symptoms (more evident to outsiders),” Deibel explains. “Some research suggests that women with ADHD are better at masking their symptoms. It’s unclear why this is, but cultural expectations — like the idea that messiness and disorganization are ‘unladylike’ — may pressure girls to hide their symptoms.”

So, what are some of the “sneaky” signs of ADHD in adults?

“ADHD is perhaps one of the most misunderstood conditions in modern times,” Dr. Thompson Maesaka, who owns and practices in the neurological rehab clinic The Neural Connection — and was diagnosed with ADHD at 24. “For one, people lump ADD and ADHD together, often blaming their remedial mistakes on their self-diagnosed ADD. Many assume everyone with ADHD is either a hyperactive hummingbird of energy incapable of sitting in one place or a disorganized tornado of missed appointments and unmet deadlines. The reality is that many adults with ADHD appear as normal, well-adjusted people until you examine some of the themes of adult ADHD.”

Some of those themes and signs include:

Activity-filled downtime

Adults with ADHD tend to recharge by doing things. “There is this bubbly, growing sense that things need to be done, even if there isn’t anything to do,” says Maesaka. “Dopamine, the neurochemical most closely associated with ADHD, is also a key component in movement. The adult ADHD brain has a lot more receptor sites for dopamine, meaning it metabolizes dopamine really quickly. Movement is often the easiest way to create more, which is a reason why adults with ADHD like to move around and ‘go’ more than someone without it.”

“Doom piling”

Maesaka says many adults with ADHD organize things similarly: in “doom piles” of clothes, papers, or other items. (In my husband’s closet, all his clothes are piled on the floor. We call it his floordrobe.) “This usually acts as a crude way to stay organized — something adults with ADHD struggle with — or simply a way to avoid actually organizing it.”

Losing things

Do you misplace things constantly? Blame it on a shorter working memory! "Working memory is simply the place in your brain where you keep the information when you're thinking about it, like when someone tells you a phone number, and you repeat it 10 times to remember it," says Maesaka. "People with ADHD have such a rapid thought process that information is often shoved out before it has a chance to turn into a long-term memory, which leads them to put something down and not take note of where they left it."

Addictive tendencies

This often looks like a dependence on caffeine and/or nicotine, but substances like marijuana and alcohol may also be used. Explains Maesaka, “Many of the common medications for ADHD are stimulant-based, so undiagnosed adults will typically consume a lot of caffeine to try and create the neurochemicals they need to stay alert and focused.”

Being a starter... but not a finisher

“A person with undiagnosed ADHD will be the captain of starting things and never finishing them. Projects and books are easy ways to spot an adult with ADHD. They're usually very excited about new projects and their possibilities until something new comes along, and then they're equally excited about that,” says Maesaka. Once that dopamine hit metabolizes, it’s on to the next!

Attentional ED

Yup, ED means exactly what you think here, with a twist. “People with ADHD struggle to focus on things they're not interested in but can hyper-focus on things that excite them. My mother always said it was like erectile dysfunction for the brain,” Maesaka jokes. “When what you're focused on excites you, everything works great. When it doesn't, you just can't muster the energy or motivation to do it.”

Analysis paralysis

Do you ever get so bogged down overthinking a problem that you literally cannot make a decision about what to do next? This is known as analysis paralysis, and it’s pretty common in people with ADHD brains. “People with ADHD often put things off until there is an imminent deadline,” says Maesaka, noting that only when the pressure is staring them down do they switch out of “analyze what to do mode.”

Sensory overload at home

Fatemeh Farahan, a licensed marriage and family therapist who authored Wired for Happiness, shares this subtle but important indicator that often goes overlooked: “ADHD can heighten sensitivity to sensory stimuli — things like noise, clutter, or bright lights. In chaotic environments, this can lead to irritability or feeling overstimulated, especially when there’s no way to filter out distractions.”

Inconsistent parenting approaches

Maintaining consistency can definitely be a challenge for those with ADHD, and this often trickles down to the way they parent. “They might find themselves overly structured one day and more lenient the next, reflecting difficulties with impulse control and planning,” explains Farahan.

Spacing on important but non-immediate tasks

“Forgetting to respond to important emails or pay bills on time — despite knowing how crucial these tasks are — is a common ADHD issue,” says Farahan. “This type of forgetfulness tends to affect tasks without immediate consequences, leaving people overwhelmed when the consequences finally arrive.”