Uncles Do Not Get The Credit They Deserve, & It’s A Damn Shame

I have an awesome uncle. He might actually be the coolest uncle. That’s not bragging; it’s empirical. He’s an incredible polymath — a real Renaissance man. Honestly, I’ve yet to find something he’s not well-versed in.

The man taught me fractions, demonstrating not only his mathematical prowess but also an insane level of patience with his niece, who was terrible at math and a very reluctant (and stroppy) pupil. When I was a teenager, I insisted on joining his band because he’s a fantastic musician. He’s also the sort of guy you can ring when you’re melting down over a major DIY challenge (finding a large hole in your wall, say) or when you need to navigate some super awkward family politics. He plays with my kids, explains stuff about pensions, and also loves my dog with a passion.

See? Told you he was cool.

My uncle is not loud or showy with his love, but, wow, can you feel it. Of course, he will be utterly mortified to receive attention in this manner... but he won’t even hold that against me.

While I’m busy humble bragging, he’s not even my only amazing uncle. Other uncles have said much too nice things about me in speeches given at my wedding, doled out life advice and not rolled their eyes when I didn’t take it, helped me move, called me to check in, sent my children incredible gifts, and made a fuss of their undeserving niece in that special way uncles do.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because perhaps it’s time we give super uncles their due. A good uncle can work wonders for their nieces and nephews, not to mention head off Daddy Issues at the pass. We need to remember that uncles deserve more credit for how they enrich the lives of those they love. In our increasingly village-less society, uncles plug the gaps.

I’m actually making my kids call my cousin “Uncle Chris” — not because I’m confused about how familial salutations work, but because I want to foster that same relationship I had with my own uncles.

It would be remiss of me to write all of this and not mention the uncle extraordinaire: Uncle Buck. Who didn’t want a wayward uncle who showed up in the night, made pancakes the size of a pickup, and fought back against your mean teacher? Points deducted for the passive smoking and inability to manage remedial household tasks, but still.

If Uncle Buck was second in uncle stature to any pop culture figure, it would only perhaps be to Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (yes, you can now carbon-date my childhood), who was witty, reliable, and loved Will fiercely.

Yet, unlike aunts, who get plenty of cultural relevance thanks to the cool aunt trope, uncles rarely get recognized. In fact, while aunts get “cool,” uncles often get a bad rap.

Scar was not helpful here! And in more highly exalted forms of entertainment, we’ve had a lot of uncle villains via Lewis, Dickens, and Collins. But, given most of us haven’t read those tomes recently (or lied and said we had to in order to pass English class), why do we paint uncles in a less favourable light? Honestly, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think “uncle”?

I’d wager a lot of people arrive at creepy pretty fast, and I’m curious as to where the creepy label comes from. Sure, there could be an awful lot of uncles out there for whom it’s entirely undeserved. And, yeah, maybe you had to call your parents’ male friends “uncle” when you were younger, even though they gave you the ick. I guess I’ve just been lucky to have been dealt such brilliant uncle cards: uncles, great uncles, and even some of my mom’s non-ick male friends.

We need to remember that uncles deserve more credit for how they enrich the lives of those they love. In our increasingly village-less society, uncles plug the gaps.

All of my uncles (kin and not) have shown me kindness, and it feels like we’re not (my own bratty self included) grateful enough for how these lovely men enrich our lives. You can buy uncle-themed gifts galore, proving I’m not the only person feeling guilty for their lack of appreciation. Even Jake Gyllenhaal and best-friend/co-author Greta Caruso have riffed on the theme in their children’s book, The Secret Society of Aunts and Uncles.

The love these men give is perhaps extra special because they don’t have to give it; they choose to.

Everyone knows we have Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, but I was entirely ignorant that we also have Aunt and Uncle’s Day — and I’m big into bigging up uncles. So this year, when that oh-so-deserved day rolls around, I intend to spend some time thanking all the uncles, cool and otherwise, who make my life better.

And to my own beloved uncles, thank you. You’re the best.

Emma Armstrong is the author of ‘I Used to Think Vegans Were Dicks.’ A naturalist and a mouthy writer on the natural world, she used to live in the woods and teach people botany, how to light fires, and kill rabbits (we all have a past). Emma has previously written for The Guardian, Business Insider, The Independent, Metro.co.uk, Bushcraft and Survival Magazine, and more.