An Ode To The Moms & Mother-In-Laws Who Know It's *Your* Day

Mother’s Day can be overwhelming. Whether it’s your first one or your 10th, there’s something about a holiday dedicated to you that can feel like a lot — and it’s probably because the holiday isn’t just dedicated to you. It’s also dedicated to your mom and your mother-in-law and your stepmom and your grandmother and all the moms in your life. And even though everyone keeps telling you it’s all about you on Mother’s Day and it’s your day, the pressure to celebrate your mom or mother-in-law (or both) is there.

Because sometimes your mother-in-law wants the entire family to go out to a fancy brunch place that costs $60 a head and includes a mimosa bar, and you have a 2-year-old who really loves to throw silverware. Maybe your mom wants all of her children at her home on Mother’s Day, which means you have to get all your kids ready and dressed nicely (because you know she wants pictures for Facebook) and in the car — and oh! Don’t forget to bring a fruit salad or a quiche or something — right when everyone’s usually napping. There’s a good chance you had plans to enjoy Mother’s Day weekend at home with your little family, maybe being served breakfast in bed by your partner or taking a nap on the couch, and now you’re having to run around with all your kids in tow because the other moms in your life still think it’s all about them.

And that’s why we need more moms and mother-in-laws who are willing to say, “Enough.”

Look, I’m not saying you shouldn’t celebrate your mom or mother-in-law — especially if they’re good to you and you love them and want them to feel appreciated and special.

But I also think we should praise the moms and mother-in-laws who tell us to stop worrying about making a weekend full of celebrations for them. Who tell us to enjoy our Mother’s Day with our kids, even if that means they don’t get to host the brunch they want or go out to eat with the family. Who offer to come to our house — but only if we want them to! — and bring doughnuts for our hungry kiddos.

There’s something so lovely about a mom on the other side: one who’s got decades worth of Mother’s Day cards stashed in a box under her bed, one who’s slept fully through the night without being woken up by someone who needs a glass of water for years, one who remembers what it was like to feel pulled too tight and too thin every single day.

One who says, “Hey, just let me know what you’re thinking for Mother’s Day! You deserve to have the day you want.”

Of course it’s their Mother’s Day, too. Of course they deserve flowers and cards and to feel special. But if you have a mom or a mother-in-law who promises you she’s not bothered by having lunch a week after Mother’s Day or coming to your house and watching a movie on your couch instead, hold on tight. Give them an extra mimosa. Thank them for being the kind of mom who knows how much you put everyone else first — so she’s going to put you first.

And while we all want to celebrate our incredible mothers and mother-in-laws, it can be hard to feel like getting someone else amped for Mother’s Day when you’re drowning in tween laundry, repeat Bluey episodes, and everything in between. Mother’s Day is for all moms, but let’s raise a champagne flute to the moms and mother-in-laws who say, “Hey. Actually, Mother’s Day is about you now. And you don’t have to make me brunch.”