I Masturbate More In My Late 40s Than I Have My Entire Life

I masturbate a lot, like four times a week. I’ll get all settled and comfortable, my head will clear and I’ll be feeling myself. Literally. Sometimes I do it in the shower. I’ve been known to have a Jill-off session on the sofa. Although I’m not a spontaneous person, there are times I wake up in the middle of the night and I’m in the mood... so that’s always fun. But my favorite time to pleasure myself is when I’m in my bed right before I fall asleep. How vanilla of me.

At 49 — I’ll be 50 in a few months — I masturbate more now that I have my entire life.

I have a feeling it’s a combination of things. I know what I like and how to get the job done with my own hands. That’s right, I got rid of all the vibrators because the last thing I want is for a battery-operated boyfriend to hinder the wonderful feeling of being touched by myself or someone else.

It could be that all my kids are grown and gone and I’m in my house alone more than I have been in over 20 years. And while I’m single now, even when I have a partner or situationship I still go at it with myself just as often.

There was a long time during my 20s and 30s when my libido was low. Sex wasn’t that important to me and I never felt like it was in the mood. Sure, some of that had to do with child-rearing and hormones, but I went through a long dry spell before I had kids, too. And, more importantly, I didn’t feel empowered when it came to sex and masturbation. I felt like I’d done something wrong whenever I indulged and talking about it felt wrong. I can count on one hand how many times I touched myself before I turned 40.

Now masturbation feels loving to me. It feels like I’m taking care of myself. I mean, of course it feels wonderful but bonus: have you ever seen your face post-orgasm? It glows. And I swear regular masturbation makes me look younger not to mention happier.

I thought I’d hit my sexual peak at 20 and that was it for me, but I was so wrong.

And thank God I was. I still have decades of healthy sex left to enjoy. And even if I only enjoy it alone, that will be good enough for me. After all, no one can do it better than I can anyway.

Katie lives in Maine with her three kids, two ducks, and a Goldendoodle. When she’s not writing, she’s reading, at the gym, redecorating her home, or spending too much money online.