I Tried Watching Porn With My Husband

Watching porn is still a pretty taboo thing to talk about, right? I can’t be the only middle-aged mom keeping my Pornhub subscription a secret. Despite all of our progressive societal advancements in the areas of sexuality and pleasure, in my world the consumption of pornography is something that lives under the veil.

But I am ready to talk about it — here, anonymously — like the brave warrior that I am. And I want to tell all of you that after years of periodically enjoying a little porn by myself, I decided to watch it with my husband, and it was just what we needed to spice things up.

I am not a lesbian or even bisexual, but personally I am a lesbian, soft porn kind of girlie. I just find zero things attractive or aesthetically pleasing about the sight of a penis — and visual of rough, repetitive penetration just doesn’t do anything for me. But for the purposes of you trying this in your own relationship, you use whatever kind of (legal) porn that suits you.

I will say the idea of transitioning from solo viewing to couples’ viewing gave me a lot of anxiety. I think I was most concerned with the possibility of awkwardness. Like, do we pop popcorn? Do we sit in silence and watch on our respective sides of the couch or do we cuddle? Do we chat, like we do when we are watching a movie? And of course I worried that I would laugh, because I have a pretty strong record of turning moments that are supposed to be ‘sexy’ into moments that become comical.

But shockingly (and thankfully), it all went a lot smoother than I had anticipated. We watched quietly for a couple of minutes and I got my giggles out early. Volume was low enough not to wake the kids but high enough for us to hear. And after a few minutes, we naturally transitioned to some light petting while I continued to watch — and the rest — well, you know.

And it helped! It helped my libido, something that after a lot of mothering tends to lower (a lot) amiright?! It quieted and shifted my mind, which is usually doing a mental checklist of all the daily chores while my husband is gearing up and already ready for penetration. And it helped with my confidence, suddenly giving me a little boost of hotgirl energy or something.

So, what did I learn from this, you ask? Well, first I learned (again, and again) that pushing through a little anxiety is worth it. Mostly because the things I’m worried about are not actually the things that happen. Also because the end result is worth it!

I also learned that stepping out of my sexual comfort zone at this point in life is not only a good thing, but might be necessary. Because after so many years of marriage, and so many kids, we both deserve a sex life that feels good and fun. And while naturally induced excitement would be nice, it just isn’t super realistic at this stage. We might need to work a little to create it, and that’s ok!

So, here’s to being a proud old, married mother who watches porn with husband, anonymously. Try it, I bet you will enjoy it too.