How To Self-Tan Properly, If You Are A Mom With No Time Or Patience

Do you have to be tan to be beautiful? Of course not. But it sure does make me feel better about myself in shorts, sundresses, and bathing suits in the summertime. There’s something so healthy-looking to me about a sun-kissed glow, but obviously relying on the sun for it exposes you to harmful UV rays. Instead, I’ve taught myself how to self-tan properly over the years, and I’m happy to share my methods with you as we head into hot mom summer.

Let’s start with my credentials. I’m a certified pasty princess — I have very fair skin you can literally see my veins through. If you want to look at my legs in direct light, bring sunglasses. I grew up in a beachside town in Florida and yearned to look like all the super tan, sun-bleached blonde surfer girls, but I don’t tan naturally, no matter how much time I spend outside or how many sunburns I subjected myself to as a teenager.

When I was a young adult, my mom had a skin cancer lesion removed from her scalp, and I started getting more serious about protecting my skin from the sun. I still had a permanent tan line at the time from getting sunburned in tank tops too many times in high school and college. When I got engaged and picked a strapless wedding dress, I realized I’d need to perfect a self-tanning routine starting now if I was going to cover my farmer’s tan at the altar.

That was nearly 10 years ago, and I have definitely gotten even better at my tanning routine since then. I keep a glow going most weeks of the summer, with minimal streaking and patchiness as it wears off. If you’ve never self-tanned before but want to try it out this summer, lemme tell ya how it’s done step by step.

What is the best self-tanner to use?

You must answer this question for yourself, grasshopper. My personal favorite is the b.tan Glow Your Own Way gel, which I have raved about online before. I love it because you can apply it and then go back to living your life, unlike tanning foams with a color guard — a brown-colored additive that shows you where you have applied your self-tanner as you go.

For newbies, a product with a color guard is really helpful. But you often have to leave it on for a while, sometimes overnight, for the color to develop before you can rinse it all away. As much as I might like the guidance, I simply don’t want to have sheets get stained by a color guard (though they literally sell self-tan sleep sacks for this issue now). And as a mom, I don’t have the luxury of doing what I used to — sitting around naked on a towel, killing time — while waiting on a tan to develop. So, clear quick-drying gel is right for me, but you decide what works for you.

Applying Your Tan

1. Moisturize the sh*t out of your skin.

I am a lizard woman who puts on lotion at some point every day. If this is not how you have to live, congratulations, but maybe think about throwing some lotion or body oil on in the days leading up to whenever you want to apply your self-tan. Pay special attention to the dry areas most people have: elbows, knees, ankles, hands, and feet. Moisturized skin helps the tan sink in evenly and not look patchy.

2. Right before you tan, exfoliate your whole body and shave what you want.

Self-tanner works by sinking into the skin and reacting with the amino acids naturally present there, turning the DHA in the tanner into a golden brown color. It’s essentially a stain, and it will cling extra to dry or dead skin. That skin is also more likely to fall off sooner, so sloughing it away now via exfoliation will help extend the life of the tan you’re about to apply.

When I want to apply my tan, I’ll take an everything shower right before with a good body scrub to exfoliate everything really well. You don’t have to shave to self-tan, but I personally shave my legs, so this is when I do that, too.

3. Apply a thin layer of lotion all over, and a little extra on dry spots.

When I get out of the shower, I throw on a thin layer of lotion all over my body (I use the Eucerin Eczema Relief Cream) and let it sink in while I get dressed. I will add a little more to my hands, elbows, and all the other aforementioned dry patches. Now, the canvas is ready.

4. Rub the tan on in circular motions until it’s completely dried down.

Using a tanning mitt and tanning foam, or your hands with a gel self-tanning product, start at your ankles and apply the tan in circular motions. Rubbing straight up and down is how streaks happen, but rubbing in circles helps blend everything in without lines or gaps in coverage. I also like to work the product in until it’s dried down or fully absorbed, which helps ensure there are no spots I missed or applied too much.

I tan my entire body this way, moving up from my ankles to my chin and then down my arms to my wrists. I’m pretty flexible so my back isn’t a big deal, but you can also buy tan applicators for the back if you’re less so or have mobility limitations. I will apply the bulk of the product on larger areas, like a thigh, and then when there is less product on my hands or the tanning mitt, swipe that over my knees or elbows. Again, dry areas always hold onto and develop more color, so less is best.

I don’t use a tanning mitt with the b.tan gel I love, so this is when I wash my hands well with soap and water to remove the tanning agents from my palms. I tend to end up with orange cuticles, but I’ll make that trade for the other things about this product I love (i.e., not having to wait around naked for hours while the tan develops). Pro tip: Don’t put self-tanner in your armpits, and give them a wide berth if you can. Most self-tanners have a weird biscuit-y smell when you apply them, and sweat tends to bring it back, but you can keep it at bay for the most part by avoiding your pits. Also, no one has tan armpits anyway.

5. Use an old foundation brush to apply it to your face, hands, and tops of your feet.

The hands and feet are the hardest parts of the body to tan well, and they’re usually the dead giveaway that someone has a fake tan on (I personally don’t care if someone knows my tan is fake, but orange streaky hands are also not part of my vision).

This is where an old foundation brush, or a new cheap one, comes in handy. I like to pump a little bit of tan out onto a paper towel or your tanning mitt and swirl your brush in it all Picasso-like. Then, I blend it down my ankles and the tops of my feet, and over my wrists and hands. You’ll want to make a hand claw while doing this, like so:

Monster claw hands open up the creases on your knuckles so the tan can be lightly applied there, lest your hands look like little hot buns with white slices across the top when you bend them at all. You should also swipe in between your fingers and down the sides of your hands a bit, too.

As for the face, you can totally apply self-tanner all over, but I prefer to contour with my self-tanner so my face still has some dimension. I’m not as precious about it as this content creator, but her tutorial is a good reference:

Extending the life of your tan

Once your tan has developed, you’ll want to slap some lotion on each day to keep your skin hydrated and holding on to that color. You can apply a gradual tanning lotion or butter each day, but I find on my fair skin, this makes the color build up in some places while still wearing off in others. I prefer to just let it wear off in between and start over each time. If you really need to remove a streaky tan, you can also purchase self-tan removal products to help speed things along.

May the tanning gods smile upon you this summer, my friends. I hope my streaky applications and pale patches I missed on the backs of my legs can benefit us all now.