Treat Yo' Elf To These 70 Hilarious Elf Jokes & Puns

Elves are funny little creatures who make us laugh. Case in point: Will Ferrell in Elf. Their joy for Christmas is infectious, not to mention the silly outfits — including those cute little shoes — that put a smile on our faces. So, if you’re looking to up your dad joke game (or mom jokes, since we know moms have the real game), knowing some good elf jokes is the way to go. At the very least, they provide a perfectly on-theme distraction from the fact you’re hiding that infernal Elf on the Shelf another year.

Besides, knowing some clever jokes and puns, you can also plug them into cards or use them to poke fun at your little one. You know what? You can even save yourself some Elf on the Shelf brain-racking and jot one of these jokes on a Post-It to stick underneath that little prankster every evening. The point is, these jokes are good to use all year round.

To help you out, we collected a bunch of hilarious elf jokes and elf puns that will keep you and your kids chuckling all day long.

Elf Jokes to Toy With

1. What type of music do elves like best? Wrap.
2. What kind of money do elves always use? Jingle bills!
3. Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy? To help their elf esteem.
4. What do Santa’s elves say whenever they take a photo? “Let’s take an elfie.”
5. What do you call an elf who won’t share? Elfish.
6. What do you call a badly behaved elf? A rebel without a Claus!
7. What do elves learn first at school? The elf-abet.
8. What did the elf playing the piano say when someone complimented her skills? “Thanks; I’m elf-taught.”
9. Whose music do elves like the most? Elf-is Presley.
10. What make of cars do elves drive? Toy-otas.
11. What would you call an elf with lots of money? W-elfy!
12. What did one elf say to the other who wouldn’t hand over the wood-carving tool? “Don’t be elfish.”
13. What is Santa Claus’ tax status? Elf employed.
14. How did Santa get to be so famous? “He’s an elf-made man.”
15. How did the teacher tell the elves to line up before break time at school? In elf-abet-ical order!
16. What are elves’ favorite types of photos? Elfies.
17. Where do elves vote? The North Poll.
18. Why did everyone urge Sally the Elf to run for office? She has high elf-esteem.
19. What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor? Ribbon Hood.
20. What do you call an elf who makes corny jokes about Christmas? A real Christmas card!
21. Who is Santa’s helpers’ favorite character in Stranger Things? Elelfen.
22. What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends? “Treat yo’elf.”
23. What do elves get instead of athlete’s foot? Mistle toe!
24. Why did the elf sleep in the fireplace? Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
25. What is Jingle the Elf’s favorite positive affirmation? “Believe in your elf.”
26. How did Santa’s helper boost his low elf-esteem? He read an elf-help book!
27. What does Santa say to his elves every Christmas Eve? “Have your elf a merry little Christmas.”
28. What do you call an elf who learns independently? Elf-taught.
29. What kind of pictures do elves love to paint? Elf-portraits!
30. What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child? “Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
31. What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking? Kitchen u-tinsels!
32. What do vegetarian elves eat? Elfalfa.
33. Where do elves go when they feel ill? The elf-centre!
34. What is Santa’s helpers’ favorite convenience store? 7-Elelfen.
35. How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator.
36. Why did Father Christmas have to shut his workshop one day? For an elf and safety check.
37. What’s an animal that never forgets Christmas? An elfant.
38. What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop? The twelf!
39. What do you call a Santa’s helper with a rags-to-riches story? Cinderelfa.
40. How did Santa tell his elves to check their email? “First, yule log on…”
41. What does Santa use after trimming his beard? Elftershave.
42. Who’s an elf’s favorite singer? Elfa Fitzgerald.
43. What is elves’ favorite sport? Miniature golf.
44. What do you call an elf entrepreneur? A small business owner.
45. What do elves say when meeting mutual friends? “Small world!”
46. What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes? Their mistletoes.
47. What sign hangs above the door of Santa’s elves’ workshop? “Dance as elf there was no tomorrow!”
48. What do elves use to walk when they hurt their legs? Candy canes.
49. Where do elves go to get famous? Holly-wood.
50. If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it? Shelf it for later.
51. Some people say elves are very shy. But I think hobbits can be Shire.
52. Two elves walk into a bar. The dwarf laughs and walks under it.
53. A teacher walks by and notices an elf sitting in the music room. “What brings you to school?” the teacher asks. “I’m taking music classes,” says the elf. “But why?” the teacher asks. “Santa requires it of all the Christmas elves now,” the elf says. “It’s supposed to improve our rapping skills.”
54. What do you call an elf that hides in a Christmas bakery? A mince spy!
55. What do elves eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!
56. What does Mrs. Claus use to bake cakes? Elf-raising flour.
57. What is an elf’s fav crispy snack? Jingle Pringles.
58. Where do the elves and reindeer go to get hot chocolate? Star-bucks!
59. Did you hear about the red-haired elf that helps Mother Christmas? He’s a gingerbread man.
60. Why did the elf sleep in the fireplace? Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
61. What do socialist elves support? Redistribution of welf.
62. What would upset a normal person but not an elf? Coming up short.
63. What is the elves’ least favorite Christmas song? “Noelf.”
64. What’s another name for Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses.
65. What do you call an elf who wins the lottery? Welfy.
66. Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital? He has private elf care.
67. What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more? Elf on the shelf.
68. What is an elf’s favorite band? The Pixies.
69. Why did the elf pray? He wanted to connect with his higher elf.
70. What happens to elves who misbehave? They get the sack.