When Should You Let Your Kid Get The Puppy They’ve Been Begging For?

The question comes for us all at some point: “Mom, can we get a pet?!” Whether your kid is asking for a fish, a dog, a cat, or a bunny, once they’ve asked you for the hundredth time, it’s natural to start considering it. So, what’s the best age for a first pet? How can you tell if your kid is ready to actually take on some responsibility for a dog or cat and keep it up long-term? There is an ideal age to wait until, but of course, you should also take stock of a few things about your child specifically (like, can they be around a dog without smothering it with their love and making it antsy).

The best age for a first pet depends on a few factors.

If you want a family pet that the kids can help with but aren't solely responsible for, age 6 or 7 would be a great time to welcome in a new critter, says Dr. Gerilyn Worthy-Thayer, licensed clinical psychologist at Baptist Behavioral Health. If your goal is for the new animal to really be your kid's pet, hold off until they're 10 or 11, she says.

These numbers aren't hard and fast rules — they're general guidelines about when most kids will have developed the abilities to remember to feed, bathe, clean up after, and walk a pet, and the empathy to know why it's important that they do so, Worthy-Thayer explains.

"Some kids are very mature at 8, and we're like, 'My God, you're collecting social security already.' But there are other kids who might be a little bit more immature, a little young, even at age 10, where they may not be prepared to take on that responsibility. That's something a parent will really have to assess," she says. "But generally speaking, we're looking at kids coming into around third or fourth grade where we're saying, this is your pet that you've asked for, and we're expecting you to share in at least 50% of the responsibilities for the caretaking of this animal."

How do you know if your kid is ready for a pet?

Kids will swear they'll do everything you're asking them to do to get a pet, but remember that the excitement of a new animal wears off. How do they handle their other responsibilities at home or school? "Definitely think about, Does my child already help around the house? Is it one of those things where I have to bribe and beg and plead?" Worthy-Thayer says.

Another thing to consider with your child relates to others. Are they empathetic, or still pretty focused on themselves? "Having a pet is a great way to build empathy and consideration for others in a child. But if you know that your child tends to be fairly impulsive and disregard the needs of others — not out of any selfishness, they just haven't matured to that level yet — that might be something to consider. Because even a dog with a gentle temperament or a cat with a gentle temperament could be pushed too far if the kid is constantly in their face, and we don't want any negative interaction between the family pet and the child."

You should have a straightforward discussion with your kid about what your role and theirs will be in caring for the pet before you bring it home, Worthy-Thayer advises. "'Mom and Dad are only going to do X. We're not going to do blank, blank, and blank." Set up the ground rule that leisure comes after responsibilities are done — we're not sitting down to play Xbox until the pet is taken care of.

Just consider your child's age and the type of pet when assigning their new duties. "If your child is closer to the second or third grade age versus fourth grade, OK, Mommy doesn't expect you to get our German Shepherd into the bathtub and effectively bathe them or walk them because they probably weigh more than you do, but I do expect you to be able to put the dog food down in the morning within 30 minutes of the time it should be put down," she says.

The benefits of kids having a pet

For starters, having a pet helps your child build empathy, Worthy-Thayer says.

"Our fur babies also have all of their own feelings and emotions, and it's important that, as parents, we're able to read the dog's cues. Sometimes we think, oh, well, they're not growling, they're not upset, but we don't know that if the dog lowers their ears and nudges the kid a couple of times with the head that that's not a hug. They're trying to push the kid away because they're overwhelmed. Helping the child understand that and teaching them to read body language and cues is something they can learn. They can learn it with the pet, and hone that skill for going into school and learning how to interact with peers," she explains.

It's also a great way to teach responsibility and for kids to learn that their actions affect others, Worthy-Thayer says.

The best first pet for a kid

As parents, it's easy to think of small animals like hamsters, bunnies, turtles, or fish as starter pets. But actually, they can often have very specific dietary needs and more involved cleaning of their habitat, which is too much for most kids to do solo, Worthy-Thayer says.

Dogs, cats, and even ferrets are a little bit simpler for kids to care for, she says. Parents should just be particular about the temperament of the pet they want to adopt. "Some dogs are naturally high energy and need an owner who is going to run with them every day. Other dogs just want to nap. If you get a shepherd breed of some sort, every time your kid wanders, the dog is nudging them back to the family group, so it's hard for the kid to go play with their friends. Consider the temperament of the dog and match it with the speed and temperament of your family to make the best fit possible for your family unit," she says.