A**hole YouTuber Takes Parent Phone-Shaming To A Whole New Level

YouTube star plays “prank” on parent on his phone at the park

Every parent has been guilty of not paying attention to their child when they probably should be. That’s natural, because no one can or should stare at their child 24 hours a day. And yes, we should all make sure we’re attentive when we take our child to a public place so they don’t get lost or knock over a display case of olive oil or whatever. But if you’re worried that your partner is too caught up with his or her phone while they’re with your child at the playground, the way not to handle it is calling someone named Joey Salads and having him pretend to abduct your child.

Joey Salads (I’ve been told, because I’m 40 and don’t understand this shit) is a famous YouTube star. He makes “extreme prank” videos that he calls “social experiments.” What kind of social experiments? You mean like everyone gets on an elevator and you turn and face the back and see what happens? No. Try videos with titles like, “Abandoning Baby Prank,” “Mall Kidnapping,” “Girlfriend Sold For Money,” and “Abducting Girls at a Bar/Club.”

Ha! Oh, how fun.

Well, a video called “Abducting Child in Front of Dad” is making the rounds again, and people are buzzing about it.

Boy, they sure showed him by him ripping his heart out for a few minutes and subjecting his child to a fake abduction (which he will inevitably feel is his fault) and posting it on YouTube. This is not. How. You. Do. It. What’s “it”? “It” is everything. Everything that should be done is not done in this video.

And to add to the grossness, it’s the child’s mother who set this up and is seen at the end of the video scolding the father. You can see her with Salads in the longer version of the video on YouTube. Now, call me old-fashioned, but this seems like the sort of thing that would be best solved through some honest and private conversations. I mean, sometimes my husband has an annoying habit of making jokes at the wrong times, but I’m not going to stomp on his dick and yell, “Who’s laughing now, motherfucker” while live streaming it on Facebook. That just doesn’t seem like the best way to solve disagreements.

There are certain things in life that are not to be fucked with. Fake child abductions are for sure in the top ten along with “fake nuclear war” and “Grandma’s dead just kidding.” Anyone who has lost sight of their child for even one second knows how terrifying it is. You think your whole world has just ended. And to pretend to do that to a parent with some schmuck named “Joey Salads” and record it for millions of people to see is unforgivable.

And let’s not forget that the reason this video was made — the fear of children being abducted by strangers — is exceedingly rare, especially in comparison to kidnappings by family members or people who know the child well. According to an article in The Washington Post, the last major study of child abductions found that the number of children abducted by strangers or “slight acquaintances” was only one-hundredth of one percent, and the number of children abducted by strangers each year averages around 115. Even one is too many, and no one wants their child to be that one, but it’s important to have a little perspective on the subject.

Videos like this are supposed to scare us. They’re meant to play on every parent’s worst fear for the sake of page views. They also allow us to judge other parents and say things like, “I would never” and “not my child.” But those are lies and they are unfair. Every single parent does something that other parents would think is terrible. And while yes, you should pay attention to your kid at the playground and you would hopefully notice if they were approached by a stranger, let’s check our own houses before judging someone else’s.

So you can go ahead and reply to that email when you’re at the playground with your kids. Don’t let hyper-alert fame-hungry fear mongers make you feel guilty about something that nearly everyone does when the risk of your child being led away by some stranger offering candy is practically nil.