Jimmy Fallon Sings 'Teachers Should Make A Billion Dollars' And Hard Agree

Jimmy Fallon sings made-up “Teachers Should Make A Billion Dollars” tune on The Tonight Show

It’s Teacher Appreciation Week, and as parents are having to to step into their kid’s teacher’s shoes and oversee COVID-19 “distance learning,” it goes without saying that everyone is very, very appreciative of teachers these days. I mean, we all loved teachers before coronavirus, but now? Teachers are heaven-sent angels doing God’s work in these schools. During these crazy steps, it’s very clear just how much teachers do and how little they’re paid, and to quote Jimmy Fallon, “Teachers should make a billion dollars.” After experiencing homeschooling first hand with his two daughters aged six and five, The Tonight Show host wrote a new song on the subject and yes to everything he’s singing.

“Teachers should make a billion dollars, and get more vacation time,” Fallon sings in the made-up tune. “They spend their days wranglin’ all our crazy kids. When they go out, they should get free bottomless wine. Teachers deserve a month-long spa day and cucumbers on their eyes.”

“Teachers should have a prom for teachers, so they can dress in fancy clothes,” he continued. “The guidance counselor does the Toosie Slide, and the students have to chaperone. Teachers should make a billion dollars. And when it’s time for arts and crafts. They should get swarmed by paparazzi who demand selfies and autographs.”

“Teachers shouldn’t have to pay their taxes, they should get cheered around the clock,” Fallon croons. “At the bank, they should just throw money at them, and at Chipotle, they should always get free guac.”

Just a year before coronavirus hit, teachers were striking for better pay. Now you add a global pandemic and remote learning to their load and they deserve, well, a billion dollars.

Teachers do deserve a raise, pandemic or not, and all the “distance learning” is taking a toll on parents too who are trying to juggle working from home, parenting, and now teaching. There really aren’t enough hours in the day to do it all, and some parents have unapologetically dropped e-learning altogether. Sarah Parcak, a professor, Egyptologist, and mom to a first-grader, shared in a now-viral tweet that she was kindly opting out of homeschooling.

“We just wrote a hard email,” Parcak wrote on Twitter. “I told our son’s (lovely, kind, caring) teacher that, no, we will not be participating in her “virtual classroom”, and that he was done with the 1st grade. We cannot cope with this insanity. Survival and protecting his well being come first.”

Other parents have chosen to take the same route, but regardless whether you’re sticking with the distance learning or not, we think everyone can agree on one thing: Teachers really do deserve a billion dollars.