101 Flower Puns And Jokes — Pick A Winner And Share With A Friend

Did you know that there’s a secret language of flowers? It’s true! Different flowers have different meanings. Daisies, for instance, mean an innocent or “true” love. Red carnations traditionally mean “my heart aches for you.” Calla lilies are a popular choice for funeral bouquets, but did you know they’re actually a traditional symbol of marriage? Or if you want to express graciousness that snapdragons would align with your sentiments? Back in the day, a carefully plucked bouquet could tell a person exactly how you felt about them.

Not everyone knows those meanings these days, so it can get a little foggy on what you’re trying to say. It might be easier to just include a note with your flowers. Still, these perfectly silly and sweet flower puns and jokes can convey just about any message you need to share. Or you can use them simply for a good laugh.

Looking for more laughs? Flowers aren’t the only things that people joke about. Check out our jokes about everything from farm life, pigs, and cows to super-cheesy jokes about pizza.

Flower Puns

1. I ain’t dandelion.
2. I love you a lily more each day.
3. She’s a buttercup.
4. That is just ranunculus.
5. Hosta la vista, baby!
6. Iris you all the happiness in the world.
7. You can poppy-n anytime.
8. Thistle while you work.
9. If you were a flower, you’d be a damn-delion.
10. What in carnation?
11. Thistle be a beautiful day!
12. Every daisy is better because of you.
13. I’m so thorny.
14. You’re simply iris-istible.
15. Get clover it.
16. I can’t wait to kiss your tulips.
17. I’m head clover heels in love.
18. A peony for your thoughts.
19. We should put our tulips together.
20. You made my daisy.
21. A peony saved is a peony earned.
22. I’m proud to be y-orchid
23. Rose to the occasion.
24. Every dogwood has its day.
25. I lilac you.
26. Wild(flower) about you.
27. Don’t sing out of petunia.
28. I think of you every daisy.
29. Be still, my bleeding heart.
30. My favorite shoes are Crocus.

Generic Plant Puns

1. You grow girl!
2. I wet my plants.
3. BBFs — Best Buds Forever.
4. Bloom where you’re planted.
5. The more you grow.
6. Time to take stalk of your life.
7. Don’t stop be-leafing.
8. Once and floral.
9. Talk dirt to me.
10. Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
11. Botany plants lately?
12. Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
13. I’m sexy and I grow it.
14. Scarecrows are always garden their patch.
15. I’ve soiled myself.
16. She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
17. Ok, bloomer.
18. I feel sorry for wheelbarrows. They’re always getting pushed around.
19. My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from, but I’m stuck with it.
20. I killed a hundred weeds today! No, you only killed 98 weeds. Geez, sorry, I Roundup.
21. Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
22. Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
23. Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?

Flower Jokes

1. Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?

It’s a budding romance.

1. What did the flower say after he told a joke?

“I was just pollen your leg!”

1. How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?

They have tulips.

1. What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?

“Take it or leaf it.”

1. Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?

He just wants somebudy to love.

1. What do you call flowers who are BFFs?

Buds.

1. Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?

He just needed a kick in the bud.

1. What does the youngest flower child say?

“Last bud not least!”

1. Did you hear about the flower that never bloomed?

It was a bud omen.

1. What does a flower therapist ask her patients?

“Are you feeling bouquet?”

1. What did the flower say when her son went off to college?

“I be-leaf in you.”

1. Why do flowers always drive so fast?

They put the petal to the metal.

1. Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?

She rose above it.

1. What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?

“Floret.”

1. What do flowers study in college?

Stem.

1. Why didn’t the flower get a second date?

He was a garden variety.

1. How do two flowers greet each other?

“Hey bud, how’s it growing?”

1. What flower is on your face?

Your tulips.

1. A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower.

It was a cross pollination.

1. What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle?

They rose.

1. I took a photo of my flower.

Now it can photosynthesize.

1. I had to buy our dog flowers…

Because I accidentally called him our old dog’s name.

1. Why is a flower like the letter “a”?

Because a bee goes after it.

1. Magician: “I can turn this handkerchief into a flower.”

Little boy: “That’s nothing. I can walk down the street and turn into an alley.”

1. My wife told me I planted the wrong flowers.

Oopsie daisy!

1. A man gives flowers to everyone in his family.

To his wife he gives roses, to his parents he gives orchids, to his daughters he gives daisies. And to his sons, he gives sunflowers.

1. A man in a flower shop was trying to pick the perfect bouquet for his wife.

He said, “It’s crazy how much money you gotta spend on something that’s just going to die.” I said, “I know… and you gotta buy them flowers too.”

1. What’s the best flower for a boy to give his mom for Mother’s Day?

Son-flowers of course!

1. For Valentine’s Day, I received a bunch of flowers with the heads cut off.

I think I was being stalked.

1. Wife: “Where did you put the flowers?”

Me: “In the door.” Wife: “What? How?” Me: “Relax, it’s easy because the door is ajar.”

1. My buddy just got kicked out of his house. His wife was hinting at Valentine’s Day plans and asked him if he knew her favorite flower.

“Gold Medal All Purpose” apparently wasn’t the answer.

1. The password is flower…

But she keeps saying flour.

1. My wife complains that I never buy her flowers.

I didn’t even know she sold them!

1. Why did the king insist on lavender-scented food?

So his farts don’t stink.

1. What did the dog do on his walk in the park?

Peony on this tree, peony on that tree.

1. What did the big flower say to the little flower?

“What’s up, little bud?”

1. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog and a rose?

A collie-flower!

1. How did the old rose make a living?

She went from house to house petaling her wares.”

1. What do you call an inn opened by a flower and a chef?

A bud and breakfast.

1. What did the bank-robbing flower say to its getaway driver?

“Floret!”

1. What’s a flower’s favorite game to play on Halloween?

Light as a heather, stiff as a board.

1. What’s Miley Cyrus’ alter ego in the flower world?

Hannah Lantana.

1. What’s a gardener’s go-to pick-up line?

“You’re simply iris-istible.”

1. What type of garden do bakers usually have?

Flour gardens.

1. What flower in the garden is fiercest of them all?

The tiger lily.

1. What’s a pickle’s favorite type of flower?

The daffo-dill.

1. What is a bumblebee’s favorite flower?

The bee-gonia.

1. What do cartographers give to their loved ones on Valentine’s Day?

Probably compass roses.