Joey Fatone Is Trying To Remember What It’s Like To Be A Teenager
The boy band icon talks parenting teens, falling behind on slang, and knowing that he knows nothing.
Are you ready to feel the oldest you’ve ever felt? N’Sync’s Joey Fatone’s oldest daughter, Briahna, is 23 years old. (We’ll give you all a moment; perhaps take this time to schedule a mammogram or stay limber with some gentle stretches.) He also has a 14-year-old, Kloey, and, in more than two decades of parenting two kids, he’s learned everything he doesn’t know.
“Let's be real. Parents, we always think we know what we're doing,” he tells Scary Mommy via Zoom. “None of us know. I always thought, my parents were … the smartest people alive. And then as you get older and you go, ‘Oh, damn. They didn't really know all that, did they?’ Or they would just make it up as they go along because they honestly didn't know, and nobody else did either.’”
A particular area he’s realizing he’s clueless about? Gen-Z slang.
“Back in the day, for me, I was using ‘rad,’ and ‘mint,’ and ‘that was dope,’ or fo’ shizzle my nizzle,” he says with a nostalgic glint in his eye. “And my parents were like, ‘What are you talking about?’ So now, it's weird, because now I feel that way. ‘No cap.’ ‘Rizz.’ ‘Bussin’.’ I thought it was like ‘busting moves,’ but that’s completely wrong.”
This could be a humbling moment, especially for someone with Fatone’s level of Millennial-cool cred. But he’s leaning into it as part of his new partnership with salon chain Great Clips, whose back-to-school campaign defines Gen-Z slang for poor, unwitting parents who are just realizing they’re officially out of the loop. And his youngest, Kloey, is there to help.
Fatone and his youngest child, Kloey.
“I think Kloey has more street smarts than my older one, believe it or not,” he says. “Briahna is more logical and smart, book-wise. My other one can read the book, but she'd rather probably have fun,” he grins and leans in a bit. “That's what I like to do.”
In addition to offering 24,000 free haircuts (just be among the first to register at GreatClips.om/BacktoSchool), Great Clips’ website has a look book to help kids find the perfect reference pic for their new do. Sadly, spiky, fire-engine red tips were not included included, though Fatone tells me he’s “very fond” of the throwback look. “[If they made a comeback] I wouldn't be mad at it,” he admits.
The site also includes a slang dictionary put together by middle and high school teachers. If you’re feeling bold, go ahead and take the Pop Quiz to get a $5-off coupon for your kid’s next haircut. (You don’t even have to do well, but facing the reality of all the slang you don’t know might cost you some pride, we won’t lie.)
Fatone, however, recommends embracing the learning process, not just on the quiz but in raising teens.
Fatone with his daughters, Briahna and Kloey, in 2016.
“I don't want to change my ways,” he says. “But to see things from a different perspective and [Kloey’s] point of view, I might go, ‘You know what? I didn't think of it that way’ …you're always learning. With both my kids. I’ll go, ‘Listen, I don't know everything. I don't. I really don't. I would love to learn things. Maybe some from your perspective. Teach me. … And that helps me along the way and actually makes things a lot more positive.”
Which isn’t to say conversation flows any easier for the multi-hyphenate and his children than it does for the rest of us.
Fatone on tour earlier this summer.
“They're in the age, especially my 14-year-old, where it's like, ‘Hey, how's it going?’ ‘Good.’ ‘How's school?’ ‘Cool.’ ‘What'd you do?’ ‘Things.’ And you ask any kid at that age, it is the same damn answer.”
He’s found that specific questions can be disarming: was there a hard problem in math class? Did anyone piss you off today? These conversations are more likely not only to get a reaction from your teen or tween (or, *gulp* adult child) but are also more likely to keep you engaged.
Because, he points out, how often do parents even subconsciously tune out the answers to the general questions, often asked out of a sense of routine? “You're not even listening to them sometimes. I do it,” he admits. “We all do it as parents. It happens because you get in a rut and you're doing 80 million other things. We're adults and we want to do the adult thing, where sometimes I think we just need to be a kid to understand where they're coming from. Because we forget.”
As parents, we may forget what it’s like to be a teenager, that’s true. But at least we can hold on to the fact that we’ll never forget all the lyrics to “Bye Bye Bye.” Now go get that mammogram.
