Everything I Know About Divorce, I Learned From ‘The Real Housewives’

Since my separation, I’ve found myself turning to Bravo as a go-to stress reliever. Okay, fine, it’s always been my main source of entertainment, but I never imagined I’d ever see myself in these women. On the surface, The Real Housewives is anything but relatable (that’s kind of the whole point). There are no spare mansions just for hosting parties in my life, no private jets (I mean, “PJs”), and certainly no diamond-studded dinners gone wrong.

But lately, especially while watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, something has shifted. My escapism feels strangely familiar. The drama may be dialed up for TV, but the emotional undercurrents hit surprisingly close to home.

In fact, so much of what I’ve learned about divorce has come from watching these women navigate their relationships, friendships, shifting identities, and finances post-separation. While my ex-husband wasn’t hiding assets or embroiled in any financial fraud scandals, I still found myself grappling with the issues and challenges many of these women face — particularly the power dynamics between women and men, the complications of financial independence, and the emotional rollercoaster of a life-altering transition.

Many of the women on these shows come from or marry into wealth, but even within that luxury, the gendered and financial imbalances are evident. As a former stay-at-home mom, I recognized that moment of reckoning:when the illusion of security begins to fade and you realize how precarious your footing truly is. To watch someone who seemingly has it all still wrestle with uncertainty is both sobering and comforting. It reminded me of what it feels like to stand at the edge of your own life, wondering what lies ahead.

I watched as Erika Girardi downsized from her opulent Pasadena estate to a 2,000-square-foot Spanish-style home, even bringing in a celebrity interior designer to reimagine the space. She may have had less, but she made that home entirely her own—something that reflected her personality, her style, her presence.

My little two-bedroom bungalow is a far cry from hers, but in my own way, I did the same kind of downsizing and reinvention. I went from a large two-story, four-bedroom house with a big in-ground pool to a smaller, cozier space. And yet, it’s colorful, full of character, decorated exactly like my brain feels. My plants (some already dying, but oh well) spill over the shelves. My eclectic, definitely-not-luxury art collection hangs in its own chaotic rhythm, each piece tied to an interest, a mood, or just a moment. But like Erika, this space is mine.

“To me, it's a real symbol of starting over,” Erika tells her mom. “Would you like to drink a bottle of champagne in the cabana?”

The first night my best friend came over to hang out at my new house was essentially the same. “This place feels like you,” she said.

“Would you like to drink this $9 bottle of screw-top rosé at the one table I have?” I replied.

For many women who stayed at home to raise children or support their husbands’ careers, financial independence is deeply intertwined with their relationships. Dorit Kemsley’s journey— while wrapped in designer labels — mirrored my own in some highly specific ways. Her financial autonomy was tied to her marriage. The emotional weight of being a stay-at-home mom or an unpaid caregiver is rarely discussed on The Real Housewives, mostly because of the extreme wealth and privilege (I have zero nannies), but the challenge of rebuilding a life after divorce is universal.

And then there’s the Kyle Richards drama of it all. Watching Dorit and Kyle try to navigate that post-divorce alliance shifting that was eye-opening. It revealed how fragile friendships can become. And it reminded me that the aftermath of a breakup isn't just about letting go of one person, it’s about reconfiguring your place in a world that once revolved around a “we.”

Divorce doesn’t automatically end the friendships tied to the relationship, especially when the couples were close. Things get messy fast.

Divorce doesn't just reshape a family — it ripples outward, unsettling the social ecosystem that once felt secure. Friends, dinner parties, shared vacations, suddenly, everything becomes uncertain. And though the end of a marriage feels deeply personal, something private between you and your family, its fallout can extend in strange and unexpected ways.

One of the most significant lessons I took from The Real Housewives was how important it is to reclaim your financial independence. The disparity between what these women are able to spend and what many of us face in the real world is stark, but the underlying issue is the same: how do you build financial security (or for them, a different financial landscape) when you've been reliant on someone else for so long?

For many women, the pressure to “keep it together” while everything around them is falling apart can be overwhelming. The flashback dashcam footage of Dorit stress-smoking in her car will live in Housewives infamy — not just for showing her in a raw, unfiltered moment, but for capturing something resonant. It was a glimpse of what it looks like when a woman finally lets herself unravel, when the pressure to hold it all together gives way to the weight of everything she’s been carrying.

As I’ve gone through my own divorce, I’ve come to realize that, just like the women on the show, I cannot do this alone. Whether it’s listening to me vent, offering advice, or simply spending time together, I’ve learned that rebuilding your life after divorce isn’t something you should do in isolation.

Mine looks a little different. I started two new jobs. Re-pierced my nose. Bought 15 houseplants. Moved to the neighboring city downtown.

And in the meantime, I’m grateful Jennifer Tilly is here to flaunt all her expensive jewelry with her Simpsons money. Please never stop — because I still need the entertainment aspect, too.

Molly Wadzeck is a freelance writer and mother of three. Born and raised in Waco, Texas, she moved to the Finger Lakes region of New York, where she worked in animal rescue and welfare for many years. She writes essays and poems about feminism, mental health, parenting, pop culture, and politics. She is usually late because she stopped to pet a dog. She tweets at @mwadzeckkraus.