Parenting

From The Confessional: I'm Jealous Of My Husband's Ex-Wife

by Cassandra Stone
Ripped picture of the husband and husband's ex wife
ThiagoSantos/Shutterstock

You know he isn’t with her for a reason, but you just can’t help feeling jealous of your husband’s ex-wife

Jealousy is a totally normal—if inconvenient—human emotion. And even though we all have a past, and we know our partners have a past, and we all just have to accept it, it’s far from easy.

If your husband or partner was married before, it can be especially difficult to completely overlook their history (and if they have children together, you can’t overlook it at all). Maybe it eats away at you, the jealous. Maybe it’s just the occasional pang. Maybe you’re jealous of her because she doesn’t have to deal with his sh*t anymore! Or maybe you’re jealous because she got to have the kind of life with him you wish you could have.

Whatever the reason, if you’re feeling the little green-eyed monster pop up over your husband’s ex, you’re not alone.

He gave his ex wife everything, and now he has nothing left for me. :(...

Confessional #25859449

I'm salty about the fact that H's ex wife didn't have to work & got to be a SAHM when they were married, but I had to get a job & put my kids in daycare because of H's financial, post-divorce obligations to her & their kids.

Confessional #25853499

Husband still has bank account with ex wife. Creepy as fuck!

Confessional #25844312

I found DH’s & his ex wife’s wedding photos in a bag. I tore them up and threw them away and made sure his son (my step) didn’t see them. Fuck her, crazy bitch ex!

Confessional #25835777

While it’s normal to have big feelings about your man’s ex, maaaaybe tossing his old wedding photos in the trash is one step too far?

I'm tired of H & I working hard so that his ex wife doesn't have to work at all. I don't see this marriage making it to 2022.

Confessional #25834170

SIL "slips up" & calls me by H's ex wife's name sometimes. Now mind you, H & I have been together 20 years & he was with his ex for 6 years. I think SIL does that shit on purpose. It's rude & it fucking pisses me off. Nobody else in H's family does this.

Confessional #25832370

He will never love me as much as his ex wife. We've been married 2 years.

Confessional #25828885

The longer I'm married to my husband, the more I see how much power his ex wife has over him. It's exhausting... especially at holidays.

Confessional #25826788

Today i ripped off an old family picture of DH with his ex wife and their 3 kids. Threw away the picture in a trash can at the park during my daily walk.

Confessional #25825289

Again with the pictures…yeah you probably shouldn’t do that.

I'm not a jealous woman as a general rule, but it bothers me that H has his ex wife's name tattooed on his body. I know he had a life before he met me, but must I be reminded of it every fucking time he takes his shirt off??

Confessional #25818763

Found nude pics of H's ex wife tucked away in our closet. I didn't get mad, didn't start a fight, didn't say sword. But you can bet that those ugly photos are not in my house anymore.

Confessional #25814443

Okay, now those kind of photos are OK to get rid of. Or relentlessly grill your husband about, because WTF, dude??

I feel bitter & resentful that H's ex wife got to be a SAHM but I had to work & put MY kids in daycare because of H's financial obligations to her & their kids.

Confessional #25811868

I'm jealous of the fact that H's ex wife gave him his first son.

Confessional #25801925

This is my first family & H's second. Even though I'm sure he meant well, it always made me a little stabby when, as a new mom, he would try to give me parenting advice based on how he & his ex wife did things.

Confessional #25800386

Oof. Don’t these men EVER learn??

I'm jealous of my husband's ex wife because unlike me, she had the balls to actually leave him. She's free of his fucking nonsense.

Confessional #25797515

What I hated most about being a stepmom was the financial aspect. I resented that ex wife got an exorbitant amount of CS each month & didn't have to work while H & I worked our asses off & struggled to keep food on the table. Total fucking bullshit.

Confessional #25795545