Chrissy Teigen Writes Of 'Brutal, Exhausting' Grieving Process After Losing Son Jack

Chrissy Teigen may describe the past two months as ‘brutal,’ but she refuses to ‘not find humor’

In late September, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend shared the heartbreaking news that they lost their third baby, Jack, after pregnancy complications. And since, Teigen has continued to open up about the family’s loss, from writing a raw, emotional essay to paying tribute to Jack via tattoo. Now, Teigen has taken to Instagram to share an update on healing after losing Jack, a process she describes as “brutal,” “exhausting,” and “sad.”

“When I’m old and grey, I will look back on the last two months as being brutal, exhausting, sad, physically challenging, mentally painful bitches of a couple months,” she wrote. “But I refuse to not find humor in both the rage-fits and the outfits.”

Teigen continued to write that she “already see[s] the leaves as orange instead of grey, realized the sky is indeed blue and not black” and that “horn honks on … forced morning walks” only bring her to her knees “half the time.”

Teigen also credits husband Legend for supporting her through the grieving process.

“I can make it up my stairs only stopping once or twice instead of every other, and can get out of the bathtub all by myself as long as I have the promise John will dry me off,” she wrote. “Anyhow the point is, fuuuuuuuuuuuck, I think it’s happening.”

Teigen shared the post, paired with a photo of her dressed in a monochromatic, all-black outfit — save for a pair of brightly colored, dog-print socks — the day after Thanksgiving, following posting a photo of herself posed in her kitchen on Thanksgiving day.

“Happy thanksgiving, my loves,” she wrote, to which Amy Schumer commented, “Good to see you smiling bish.”

That same day, Legend also shared a sweet image of Teigen and kids Luna and Miles sitting at the bottom of their staircase.

“So so grateful for these three,” he captioned the image.

And on Twitter, Teigen, who will celebrate her 35th birthday on Monday (Nov. 30), called the impending birthday “a rough one.”

“It’ll be exactly 2 months since Jack and I’ll prob get my first period since annnnnd I have double therapies that day hoo fuckin rayyyyyyy!!!!” she tweeted along with a GIF of Rachel Dratch’s famous Saturday Night Live character, Debbie Downer. “I really know I have an incredible life though, I promise I do,” Teigen then wrote in a separate tweet. “It’s just my brain and body are screwy right now. I know I am insanely lucky!”

Teigen lost Jack at 20 weeks after a difficult pregnancy, and after about a month of silence, she opened up about the loss via essay.

“Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning,” she wrote. “I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”

She also thanked family, friends, and fans alike for their immense support throughout her mourning process.

“Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes,” she said, later writing, “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.”