You Goat Mail: Anonymously Send A Cute Little Goat To Anyone You Want

You know someone who needs a mystery goat

Ever go about your day and think to yourself, “this needs more plush baby goats”? Obviously the answer is yes, and a super fun company heard your inner plea. They offer delivery of an adorable stuffed goat along with an extra surprise.

You Goat Mail. Not even kidding. That’s what the company is called.

The folks at You Goat Mail have the best idea to ever idea — they will send a stuffed goat along with a hand-written note to anyone you want. Oh, also, it can be anonymous. So if you feel like someone in your life is in desperate need of a surprise goat, they’ve got you covered.

The hand-written note is a lovely and personal touch, but we have trouble believing anyone will care when there’s a sweet baby goat begging for snuggles.

I mean, come on.

According to their website, the reasoning behind this genius business plan is simple. “Everyone knows a goat would be the greatest gift of all time, but caring for a live goat can be challenging and difficult. That’s where we come in!”

This is true. I grew up in a rural area and even had a corral next door, but despite my many requests for baby animals of various species, my parents gave in. I get it now, goats and baby piglets poop and require daily feeding and upkeep, none of which my nine-year-old self would’ve helped with.

But a stuffed goat requires only hugs and kisses (are you reading this, Mom?). Plus, they only cost $20-$25, which is like, the cost of maybe one bag of goat feed. Please don’t quote me on that, I’ve never actually fed a goat.

The cheapest available goat is the Baby Billy, worth every damn penny at $19.95. Look at his wee blue bow.

Sadly, the full-grown Billy Goat is currently sold out, but once he comes back to graze, he’s a tidy $24.49.

Or, you could go for the Nubian Goat with his curiously long, bunny-like ears that I want to rub against my cheek until I fall asleep.

If you can’t have the real thing, this is the next best thing. Brighten someone’s day with an anonymous goat or just buy one for yourself and play pretend. You’ll barely even know the difference.