40+ Weather Jokes So Fogging Funny They Can't Be Mist

The weather is one of those things that you may not be aware of unless it’s extreme, but it touches every aspect of our lives. It’s little wonder there are so many phrases and expressions revolving around it! You can be under the weather. Or have a fair-weather friend. Sometimes, you have to keep a weather eye open. Other days, you just have to weather the storm. And while real-life weather isn’t always a laughing matter, there are a ton of weather jokes that most certainly are.

Of course, you can find the fun in pretty much anything if you want. After all, dark jokes are a thing — and they definitely stretch the limits of humor. As do that special breed of jokes so bad they make you cringe (but still laugh). So, if you need a bit of levity, you came to the right place. After you finish laughing up a storm over these weather jokes, check out our super-clean jokes, jokes for kids, and jokes for seniors.

Best Weather Jokes

1. How do you prevent a summer cold?

Catch it in the winter.

1. How do hurricanes see?

With one eye!

1. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

Thunderwear.

1. What type of lightning likes to play sports?

Ball lightning.

1. What did one lightning bolt say to the other?

“You’re shocking!”

1. Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?

Let’s just say it was an udder disaster.

1. What did one thermometer say to the other thermometer?

“You make my temperature rise.”

1. What happens when the fog lifts in California?

UCLA!

1. Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?

She expected some change in the weather.

1. What’s the difference between weather and climate?

You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.

1. What did one hurricane say to the other?

“I have my eye on you.”

1. How do you find out the weather when you’re on vacation?

Go outside and look up.

1. What did the tornado say to the sports car?

“Want to go for a spin?”

1. When are your eyes not eyes?

When the cold wind makes them water!

1. What’s a tornado’s favorite game?

Twister!

1. What did one volcano say to the other?

“I lava you.”

1. What bow can’t be tied?

A rainbow.

1. What falls but never hits the ground?

The temperature.

1. What does everyone listen to, but no one believes?

The weather reporter.

1. What is the opposite of a cold front?

A warm back.

1. I heard Humpty Dumpty had a great summer…

But he had a horrible fall.

1. Why is the sun so smart?

It has over 5,000 degrees.

1. What do you call it when it’s pouring ducks and geese?

Fowl weather!

1. What is the best day to go to the beach?

Sun-day, of course.

1. What does a weatherman wear under his trousers?

Thunderpants.

1. Did you hear about the woman who wore sunglasses?

She took a very dim view of things.

1. Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

They peel!

1. Why did the lightning get into trouble?

It didn’t know how to conduct itself.

1. What do you eat when you’re stuck in cold weather and angry about it?

A brr-grr.

1. If an orchestra plays in a thunderstorm, who’s most likely to get struck by lightning?

The conductor.

1. What is a king’s favorite kind of precipitation?

Hail!

1. Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?

Fo’ drizzle.

1. What did one raindrop say to the other?

“Two’s company. Three’s a cloud.”

1. What do you call a bear that got caught in a storm?

A drizzly bear.

1. What is a queen’s favorite kind of precipitation?

Reign!

1. Where do lightning bolts go on dates?

To cloud nine.

1. How hot is it?

It’s so hot that when I turned on my lawn sprinkler, all I got was steam!

1. How much does it cost Santa to ride his sleigh around the world?

Eight bucks. Unless the weather is bad, then it’s nine bucks.

1. Where do snowmen keep their money?

In a snow bank.

1. What cloud is so lazy that it never gets up?

Fog!

1. What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?

One is reined up and the other rains down.

1. What do you call a kidney doctor who can also predict the weather?

A meaty-urologist.

1. How did my cat know about tomorrow’s weather? He looked at the fur-cast.