Parenting

Tina Fey Stress-Eating A Sheet Cake To Cope With 2017 Is All Of Us

by Cassandra Stone
Updated: 
Originally Published: 
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Fey was a welcome sight on the SNL’s summer edition of Weekend Update

There’s really no need to beat around the bush: however bad 2016 was (specifically how it ended), it can’t hold a candle to the enormous dumpster fire that is 2017. The stress this administration hath wrought upon us affects each of is differently; some of us can’t stop binge-eating everything in sight every time we turn on the news or open our social media apps. For those of us who use food to calm our nerves and fill our respective voids, Tina Fey gets us.

Last night, SNL‘s Weekend Update broadcast its latest summer edition and primarily focused on the horror of Charlottesville last weekend. Our girl Tina was on-hand to remind many of us we’re united when it comes to one thing: we are stressed. We are stressed out, filled to the brim with fear and anxiety and dread. Pretty much all the time these days.

So what do we do? We eat.

She noted that it’s easy to feel helpless and anxious when our entire world is a garbage heap, especially when more violent, alt-right rallies are popping up nation-wide. Which is why we all need a Costco-sized cake of our very own.

“Sheet-caking is a grass-roots movement,” she said in between mouthfuls. “Most of the women I know have been doing it once a week since the election.”

Damn straight.

Fey, an alum of the University of Virginia, said it “broke her heart” to see what occurred in Charlottesville. “It’s a beautiful school and I have nothing of fond memories of my time there,” she said.

She didn’t just attack neo-Nazis and white supremacists last night, however. No one was safe from the classic Tina Fey barbs that make us love her so much.

On Paul Ryan:

“Aren’t you supposed to be like the cool young congressman, but you don’t know how to ‘@’ somebody on Twitter?” Fey asked, referring to the statement Ryan released on Twitter “condemning” racism that conveniently didn’t address Trump directly. “Racism is bad ‘@’ real Donald Trump, you pussy.”

Oh Tina. NEVER CHANGE.

On Ann Coulter:

“When Ann Coulter crawls out of her roach motel and says, ‘Antifa attacked Republicans in Berkeley,’ and you’re like ‘Ok, Yard Sale Barbie, but the other side is Nazis and Klansmen. And also, who drove the car into the crowd, Hillary’s e-mails?’”

LOL. “Yard Sale Barbie.”

She also perfectly nailed the privilege of being an alt-right protester in our country:

“Next time when you see a bunch of white boys in polo shirts screaming about taking our country back, and you want to scream, ‘It’s not our country; we stole it from the Native Americans, and when they have a peaceful protest at Standing Rock, we shoot at them with rubber bullets, but we let you chinless turds march through the streets with semi-automatic weapons!’”

Because this is the corrupt, unjust pile of dung we’re living in. We can fight back, we can call our senators and representatives, we can write letters, we can join protests or find a million other ways to make our voices heard.

And it’s okay if we need a little (okay, a lot of) cake to cope through it all.

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