The Scary Mommy Storm Prep Guide

1. Let your children watch as much TV as they want in the hours leading up to the storm, so their brains have actually turned to mush by the time the power goes out.

2. Let them play video games until they can barely see straight in preparation for the technology detox that is likely to occur.

3. Stock up on plenty of wine, Advil and coffee.

4. Ensure that you have enough snacks, flashlights and glow sticks for each child.

5. Rid the house of all unbearably annoying battery operated toys so you aren’t pushed over the edge by an annoying Buzz Light Year who won’t shut the hell up.

6. But stock up on batteries for the toys that do keep them quietly entertained.

7. Bathe them like they have never been bathed before.

8. Pick up every last Lego from the floor.

9. Get to the bottom of the laundry basket… or close.

10. Spend as much time away from your children as possible before the storm hits.