Parenting

Hey Men Of The World, Stop Calling Women 'Crazy'

by Toni Hammer
ile404 / Shutterstock

I’ll be honest — I’ve been called a “crazy bitch” a time or two or twelve in my life.

Sadly, I think most women have been referred to as “crazy” at some point. I’ll own the bitch part — I’m not exactly always unicorn farts and pixie dust — but I’m done being called crazy for expressing anger, frustration, sadness, or any other emotion that isn’t deemed appropriate by some random male.

Just stop calling women crazy. It’s not cute. It’s not funny. And most importantly, it’s not accurate.

What you might think of as crazy is actually a woman being confident. There are a myriad of moments when women are sadly expected to be quiet. Whether it’s during the Super Bowl or a congressional hearing, for some reason, if women have an opinion about something, and it’s an accurate and meaningful opinion, but differs from what the audience at large believes to be true, then their thoughts and opinions are brushed off as her being crazy.

Guess what? It takes some serious courage to speak up in situations where women may otherwise be mansplained, talked over, or outright dismissed. While you may think she’s crazy, she’s just incredibly confident and sick of the bullshit and maybe you can’t handle that.

What you might call crazy is actually a woman being passionate. You know the type. She’s been at every rally since inauguration day. She marches, she raises her fist, she makes daily phone calls to her representatives, she hands out fliers, she goes on the local news, she resists at every turn. She’s the pain in the ass at PTA meetings when it comes to advocating for underserved communities, and she’s the outspoken guest at a dinner party when your flippant use of offensive slang becomes too much to bear.

Some call her crazy because she is unrelenting in her pursuit for justice, for equal rights, for the future of her children and grandchildren. But she is not crazy. She is passionate and brave. She is a fighter, and she’s going to get shit done. You can call her crazy, but you’re wrong. She’s an inspiration.

What you might call crazy is a woman being vocal. Yes, it’s true that oftentimes women have the loudest voice in the room. Some people can see that as offensive or annoying. They may call her crazy because she won’t calm down, because she doesn’t fit their patriarchal definition of “polite.” Unfortunately, that’s the state we’re in right now. Women aren’t often heard unless we are loud and verbose and don’t stop talking until we know everyone is listening because oftentimes that’s the only way we’ll be heard at all.

It’s not easy for us to know that our thoughts, our feelings, our knowledge, and our opinions can be invalidated with a simple phrase — “crazy bitch.” Often, if what we’re saying goes against the grain, then we’re told we’re just being too emotional, and our words are brushed under the rug and blamed on hormones or PMS. That shit has to stop.

We’re choosing to be heard. And if that means raising our voice so you’ll STFU and listen, then that’s what we’ll do.

And I can’t believe I have to say this, but here goes: This is 20-fucking-17, and if the only comment you can make about a woman is that she’s crazy because it’s “that time of the month,” just stop talking already. Nobody wants to hear it. Those types of comments are classless, immature, and make you sound ridiculous. A woman’s menstrual cycle is none of your business, so please don’t talk about it unless you’re her OB-GYN.

You can call a woman confident, strong, passionate, and brave. You can call her loud or obnoxious or unrelenting, if you insist on being an a-hole. You can call us a lot of things, but stop calling us crazy every time we intimidate you with our awesomeness.