Relax, Everyone: ‘Squirting’ Is Totally Normal

Squirting is like the Moby Dick of female arousal. It’s elusive, no one is actually sure if it’s real, and you can drive yourself mad trying to understand it.

Well, I’m happy to report that while it may be elusive, it’s a very real thing. But here’s the thing, while squirting is definitely a very real thing, it’s not easy for everyone to achieve. If you can do it, congratulations! But if you can’t, don’t take it too personally. Like I said, it’s elusive. Just like some people can whistle, some people can squirt. The numbers vary widely on how many women are capable of such a thing.

So, what exactly is squirting? Well, take a seat, and let’s have some real talk.

The more technical term for squirting is “female ejaculation.” You know how when a man (or person with a penis) climaxes, they ejaculate? Well, some women are capable of doing the same. Yes, that means when they climax, a liquid comes out of their vaginas. Sometimes it’s a squirt (hence the term) similar to when a man jizzes at climax. Sometimes it’s more of a gush (‘gushing’ being another term for it). But either way, a liquid is coming out of the body at the height of climax.

The numbers of just how many women (or people with vaginas) can squirt varies based on the study. Reports say anywhere between 10 and 69 percent of women have squirted. One of the biggest things we need to know about squirting is that research is still lackluster and often contradictory. As a result, it’s hard to get a firm handle on the truth about being able to squirt.

According to Bustle, all women are physically capable of doing it, but many often have to work hard to be able to. It is also worth noting that some women who can squirt discovered it completely by accident.

WATCH: 5 Vagina Mysteries That Are Totally Normal

Self claims that not everyone can squirt. Leah Millheiser, M.D., who is a clinical assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Stanford School of Medicine told Self, “Being a female ejaculator is not that common. It’s either going to happen or it’s not.”

Either way — whether you can squirt or not — you’re perfectly normal, and that’s the most important thing.

Now let’s get down to brass tacks here. What the hell is the liquid that’s coming out of you if you do squirt? Some people will say it’s pee. The sensations are similar, so it’s understandable, especially since it’s also coming out of the same part of the body (the urethra.) And while they’re not totally wrong, they’re not entirely right either. See, I told you this is all full of contradictions.

The liquid that comes out of your body when you squirt looks more like cum than it does like pee. It’s often milky white, though Health24 claims that it can also be clear, and ranges in consistency from watery to sticky. Researchers across the board have said that the ejaculated liquid does come from the bladder and out the urethra, and because of this, there are traces of the same chemicals as urine, but the liquid is more connected to the Skene’s gland, which is basically the female equivalent of the prostate gland. When your lady bits are aroused, the gland becomes engorged with blood (just like an erect penis) and the Skene is triggered. (If you’re curious about where exactly it is, this article offers a handy little visual aid.)

The Skene is kind of at the apex of the urethra, the bladder, and the inner clitoris. It’s basically the next door neighbor of the G-spot, which is also a bit of an anatomical mystery. “If not an anatomical spot, it’s at least an uber-sensitive anatomical area on the vagina’s anterior wall,” Alyssa Dweck, M.D., a gynecologist in New York and assistant clinical professor at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine, explained to Self. So if you want to see if you can squirt (remember, just because you haven’t, doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t), this is the place to start.

Comfort is key when trying to see if you’re capable of squirting. This is something you can do with or without a partner; you just have to be relaxed. So if you feel more comfortable riding solo, then by all means, get down to some self-exploration. If you’re going to do it solo, you can use your hand (try moving your fingers in a “come hither” motion to hit your G-spot) or you can use a vibrator. Either way, you’re aiming for G-spot stimulation.

Before you start, go to the bathroom; remember, the ejaculate is coming from bladder and urethra, so you need to make sure you’re running on empty. Then, throw down a soft towel or two (or something waterproof) because if you’re successful, it’s gonna get messy. When you’re ready, get cozy; light some candles, listen to music that gets you in the mood, whatever you need to do to get blissed out. It may take some time, so don’t try to rush the process. The sensation will likely feel very similar to peeing, but arguably more intense.

If you try it and you don’t squirt or gush the first time, by all means, keep trying. Change up your tactics. But if you ultimately discover that you can’t, don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you. On the other hand, if you discover you can, then make note of what works for you. You will not be able to do it on command (contrary to what porn may have you believe), but you may be able to work up to it for a very enjoyable experience.

Remember, there is literally no rhyme or reason to how any of this happens. Hopefully, researchers will put more effort into figuring out how this works. Because inquiring minds (and aroused bodies) want to know.