50 Woolly Clean Sheep Puns And Jokes So Baaa-d, They're Good

Looking for some woolly funny one-liners to share when you go to the farm or petting zoo? Sheep puns and jokes might be the answer. While they’re certainly funny enough to inspire all manner of laughs, sheep are actually pretty interesting creatures. For instance, did you know their wool never stops growing? Even if they skip a shearing or two, their wool continues to grow. They only get fluffier — like the sheep named Shrek who hid in a cave for four years and, when found and sheared, had enough wool to make 20 full suits. Can you imagine how hot that had to be for him?! Sheep are also useful beyond their wool. For instance, President Woodrow Wilson used them to keep the White House lawn trimmed during WWI.

Still, with all that curly wool, there’s plenty to joke about when it comes to sheep. These kid-friendly sheep puns are even funnier than their goat and cow counterparts. Looking for more animal jokes? We’ve got a whole menagerie of ’em about owls, giraffes, dogs, and more!

Sheep Puns and Jokes Part 1

1. What do you call a sheep on steroids?

A woolly mammoth.

1. What would you get if you crossed a goat and a sheep?

An animal that eats tin cans and gives back steel wool.

1. What do you call it when sheep try to take over France?

Baaaaa-stille Day.

1. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A candy baa.

1. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?

A woolly good jumper.

1. What is a sheep’s favorite newspaper?

The Wool Street Journal.

1. How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

“Fleece Navidad!”

1. Why were the sheep arrested on the freeway?

Because she did a ewe-turn!

1. What instrument does a pair of sheep play?

The two-baaaa.

1. What kind of sports car does a sheep like to drive?

A Lamborghini.

1. What do you call a Protestant sheep?

A baaaa-ptist.

1. What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

1. What do sheep wear to the beach?

A baa-kini.

1. What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?

A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation.

Part 2

1. What stroke do sheep enjoy doing?

The baaaackstroke.

1. Why couldn’t the little lamb play outside?

It was being baaaaaaaad!

1. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine?

An animal that can knit its own sweaters.

1. What animal sounds like a sheep but isn’t?

A baaaa-boon.

1. What do you call a flying sheep?

A muttonbird.

1. Where do sheep go when they die?

To the baa baa que.

1. What do you call a sheep who likes to dance?

A baa-lerina.

1. Where do sheep go to shop?

Woolmart.

1. How do sheep greet each other during Christmas festivities?

“Merry Christmas to Ewe!”

1. Where do sheep go on vacation?

To the Baaaaaa-hamas.

1. Where do sheep take a bath?

In a baaaa-th tub.

1. What’s a sheep’s favorite song?

“Baby Don’t Herd Me.”

1. A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff. What sound do they make?

Baaa-dum-tssss!

1. How many sheep does it take to knit a sweater?

Don’t be silly — sheep can’t knit!

1. What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?

A lamb slide.

1. What is a sheep’s favorite food?

Granola baaar.

Part 3

2. What was the sheep’s evil plan?

To wool the world.

1. What do you call a sheep that is always quiet?

A shhhheep!

1. What do you get if you cross a boa and a sheep?

A wrap-around sweater.

1. What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?

Baaa-nana.

1. What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

1. What football club do sheep like best?

Baaaaaaaaa-rcelona.

1. Why did the lamb call the police?

He had been fleeced.

1. Where did the sheep get a haircut?

At the baa-baa shop.

1. A police officer in the big city stops a man in a car with a sheep in the front seat.

“What are you doing with that sheep? You should take it to the zoo,” the officer said. The following week, the same police officer sees the same man with the same sheep in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The police officer pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that sheep to the zoo!” the officer said. The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

1. A flock of sheep suddenly surrounded me.

It was a lambush!

1. What do you call a Greek sheep?

Fleecius.

1. Here’s a joke about a man and his flock of sheep.

Stop me if you’ve herd it before.

1. Did you hear about the sheep that climbed over the mountain instead of around it?

He took the path of fleece persistence.

1. Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

Because she made an illegal ewe turn.

1. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?

Abahhhhumbug.

1. One stylish sheep to another, “Wow, I really like your brooch.”

The second sheep responds, “Thanks, my grandmother left it to me in her wool.”

1. What did the farmer say to the angry ram?

“Oh, don’t get so bent out of sheep.”

1. What did the ram captain say when his boat hit an iceberg?

“Abandon sheep!”

1. Why wasn’t the Mama ewe upset when her lamb broke a lamp?

Accidents wool happen.

1. What’s a sheep’s favorite type of restaurant?

A hole in the wool.