From The Confessional: How We REALLY Feel About The Quarantine

Well, it’s coronavirus or Tiger King, folks. Those are literally the only two things anyone is talking about right now. And COVID-19 more. Just have a scroll through our confessional and you’ll see everything from “I’m drinking my way through this bullshit virus!” to “OMG what happens when the groceries run out?” to simply, “I’m scared.”

So whether you’re enjoying the cozy family time, or already have a call into a divorce attorney… or whether you’re loving the work-from-home gig because you don’t have to wear real pants, or you’re in tears because there aren’t enough hours in the day, there’s someone in the quarantined confessional who can relate.

Lots of readers are finding a silver lining in all this muck. Is their positivity inspiring? Or more annoying? The jury’s still out. Confessional #25774244 “I don’t want to downplay this pandemic by saying this out loud, but I am so thankful to finally have one holiday with my kids that I don’t have to share with anyone else. It’s what I’ve always wanted!” Confessional #25774055 “My kids will have no live contact with H’s family any time soon….and I’m thrilled. That thought just made my shitty day so much better.” Confessional #25774296 “H and I have been banging like teenagers during quarantine. Both 50, 13 years of marriage and we still got it.”

Mostly, we’re all just scared. Confessional #25747941 “Scared to go to sleep. I’ve got bronchitis and wake myself up coughing and scared. I’m alone right now and worried I won’t wake up.” Confessional #25763109 “I’m so sick of feeling bad, so sick of the near future being fucking unknown, of feeling unsettled and scared. So fucking tired of life, period. Sick of feeling feelings. I’m fucking exhausted.” Confessional #25769774 “I feel like people would laugh at me so I have been quiet about stocking up on food, water and medical/house supplies for the coronavirus.”

Everyone copes differently—some drink into oblivion. Others forego all personal hygiene. Lots of people probably do both. No judgment here.

Confessional #25774038 “COVID has turned me into a day drinker”

Confessional #25774108

“People ask me how I cope ?! How I cope with one ASD kid and one ADHD kid in a small house during quarantine?! I rage clean from the moment I wake and then I rage drink from 5 pm until I pass out! That’s how!” Confessional #25774174 “My husband is working from home and turning into a caveman. Apparently the only thing that was keeping him civilized was interacting with people in public.”

Quarantine is taking its toll on our mental health. That’s why we have our confessional — so you know you’re not alone in your struggles.

Confessional #25774044 “I live by myself. I work from home. My daughter is estranged. I have no other family. I thought I had friends. Nobody has checked on me. I wouldn’t have noticed if there weren’t a pandemic. I’m scared. I’m so alone.” Confessional #25774264 “I’m tired of always being the strong one.” Confessional #25774248 “I am so grateful to have a job but I am so so tired.”

Some families are zoning out on screens and hanging in pjs all day. Others are up and at ’em by 7, cracking the at-home learning books. What even is work-life balance? Let’s just call it surviving each day and crawling to the next.

Confessional #25774188 “My kid finished his online school in an hour and will play Fortnite the remainder of the day. I’m all for it. Call me the mother of the year.” Confessional #25774062 “I wish people would stop sending me educational cute ‘how to keep your kids busy’ projects. We’re staying busy laying around in our smelly PJ’s watching crap and snacking… leave us alone! And does anyone actually do those projects?!? I doubt it.” Confessional #25774170 “Kids and DH are all alpha personalities going crazy being home so much without people to lead. At first they kept challenging my authority, trying to be in charge of the household. Three weeks on, everybody understands that you DON’T FUCK WITH Mama.”

Nobody told us on our wedding days that we’d someday be quarantined together, breathing the same air space for weeks on end. Why didn’t anyone tell us??!! Confessional #25774280 “I had to go to my room and shut the door for awhile so I didn’t go off on dh. He came back from grocery shopping and was touching everything in the house before washing his hands or disinfecting anything. I almost lost my shit. How many times?!” Confessional #25774172 “My husband doesn’t know how to just be at home. He wants to feel like he’s in charge. I don’t do feelings. You start doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, childing, shopping, educating, coaching, and planning and you can be in charge. Otherwise, STFU.” Confessional #25774088 “Being quarantined with my husband unable to see my boyfriend has made it pretty clear to me that I should get a divorce. Pronto.”

So the moral of the story is that quarantining sucks. We don’t know when it will be over. We don’t know how the fuck we’re going to survive it. We pray our kids’ schools take them back some day and we can see the inside of Target again. For now, we’ll just practice taking deep breaths, crying into our wine glasses while our kids practice math facts, and try to stave off panic attacks as we see each new headline. Hang in there, friends. This can’t last forever. Right? Right?