40+ Kid-Friendly Popsicle Stick Jokes So Bad, They're Good

It’s never too cold for popsicles, and you’re never too old for popsicle stick jokes. The puns and one-liners etched onto the stick makes coming to the end of your popsicle a little more bearable. They might make you cringe, but in the best way possible. With that said, we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite jokes to be found on popsicle sticks. This bunch covers everything from school jokes, animal jokes, food jokes and other silly puns. They’re all adult and kid-friendly, so you can rattle them off to both tall and tiny bodies.

1. How does a thread get to school?

A spool bus.

1. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

1. Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

1. What crew mans a haunted ship?

A skeleton crew.

1. Where do dogs hate to shop?

The flea market.

1. Where do cows go for entertainment?

Moo-vies.

1. What do golfers love to drink?

A cup of tee.

1. Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

A meatball.

1. What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The pavement!

1. How did the computer catch a fish?

With its internet.

1. Why can’t you play soccer with pigs?

They hog the ball.

1. What kind of pets does a band have?

Trumpets.

1. What do pigs and ink have in common?

They both go in a pen.

1. What event do spiders love to attend?

Webbings.

1. Why does a quarter flip higher than other coins?

It has an eagle on it.

1. Where were pencils invented?

PENCIL-vania.

1. How do billboards talk?

Sign language.

1. What did Mr. & Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?

Patty.

1. Why are frogs rarely angry?

They eat whatever bugs them.

1. Where does an elephant keep its suitcase?

In its trunk.

1. Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

1. What do you call a square that’s been in an accident?

A WRECKtangle.

1. Why didn’t the cashier laugh at Emily’s joke?

It made no cents.

1. What do icicles say to each other when leaving?

Bye-cycle.

1. What position do ghosts play in soccer?

Ghoulie.

1. What did the sink say to the potty?

You look flushed.

1. What is a musician’s favorite pastry?

A drumroll.

1. Why did the baseball player get arrested?

He stole second base.

1. How do pigs communicate?

Through swine language.

1. What was the wolf in the butcher’s shop arrested for?

Chop-lifting.

1. What type of frog has horns?

A bull frog.

1. Why do fish live in saltwater?

They wouldn’t want to live in pepper water!

1. What kind of bird is always sad?

A bluebird.

1. What did the fish name his kid?

Gill.

1. What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

1. What do frogs do with paper?

Rip it, rip it.

1. Which side of a duck has more feathers?

The outside.

1. Which building has the most stories?

The library.

1. Why kind of bug is in the FBI?

A SPY-der.

1. Why did the teacher jump in the pool?

To test the water.

1. What’s the most expensive kind of fish?

A gold fish.

Related: 60+ Sticky Sweet Ice Cream Jokes That Will Make You Scream With Laughter