30+ Plumber Jokes And Puns Even Moms Will Appreciate

Where there are bathrooms, there’s bathroom humor. And to go along with the poop jokes, we’ve wrangled up some plumber jokes. Most people think plumbing is a fairly new invention. After all, many of us still remember our grandparents’ or great-grandparents’ stories of mid-winter outhouse excursions. However, the world’s need for a plumber actually goes back centuries. In America, Boston’s Tremont Hotel was the first to boast indoor plumbing in 1829. Before that, Queen Elizabeth I had what’s believed to be the first flushing toilet. It was installed in 1596 and built by her cousin, John Harrington. Fun! Even further back in time, around 2500 B.C., the Pyramid of Cheops in Egypt had indoor plumbing.

In other words, plumbing has been around seemingly forever — which means there has long been a need for plumbers. While not all plumbing work involves toilets (sinks and tubs use pipes, too!), plumbing still seems like a pretty gross job. We don’t envy our plumbers, but we sure do appreciate them, right? So, we rounded up these jokes specific to the world of plumbing.

Looking for more occupation-themed jokes? We’re the professionals! Check out our nurse, doctor, and police jokes.

Best Plumbing Jokes and Puns

1. What do plumbers, garbagemen, and economists all have in common?

They all deal with gross domestic product.

1. How did the plumber feel when he gave blood?

Drained.

1. Why was the plumber depressed?

His career was going down the toilet.

1. What makes a plumber smile any time of day?

Overtime pay.

1. What do plumbers always say to customers?

“Each time you flush a toilet, you put food in my family’s mouth.”

1. Did you hear about the Jedi who gave up all his training to become a plumber?

He went over to the Darkside of the faucet.

1. What’s the one thing professional poker players and plumbers can agree on?

A royal flush is better than a full house.

1. Why’d the plumber retire early?

He was flushed with success.

1. What do plumbers have when they fall asleep?

Pipe dreams.

1. What vegetables do plumbers hate?

Leeks.

1. How are doctors and plumbers alike?

They both bury their mistakes.

1. Why did the plumber fall asleep on the job?

His work was draining.

1. I used to be a plumber, but now I’m a missionary.

I bless the drains down in Africa.

1. What’s the one thing you’ll never see a plumber do?

Bite his nails.

1. Why do plumbers wear green suspenders?

To keep their pants up. Why else?

1. What rocks while it flushes?

A rocking chair toilet.

1. What do you call a room full of cynical plumbers?

A skeptic tank.

1. A plumber was called in to fix a leaky pipe in the library toilet.

As he worked, he made too much noise, so the librarian asked him to pipe down.

1. How many plumbers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to get the beer and one to call the electrician.

1. What’s the difference between a doctor and a plumber?

A doctor washes his hands after he has gone to the toilet, but a plumber washes his hands before. (Ew. And hopefully afterward, too!)

1. What do you call a bathroom superhero (or superheroine)?

Flush Gordon.

1. Why do Scottish men never call a plumber?

Because they are pipers themselves.

1. A plumber fixes a damaged pipe in a doctor’s house and asks for $200.

Doctor: “Even I don’t make so much money in such a short period. And I’m a doctor.” Plumber: “I know, sir. I used to be a doctor myself.”

1. A man at a train stop shows off pictures of his three sons to a friend.

Friend: “What do your boys do for a living?” Father: “Well, my youngest is a neurosurgeon and my middle is a lawyer.” Friend: “What does the oldest do?” Father: “He’s the plumber that put them through school.”

1. “Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn’t change people’s habits. It just kept them inside the house.” — Alfred Hitchcock
2. How are bodybuilders and plumbers alike?

They both love pumping iron.

1. A doctor calls his local plumber late at night to fix a clogged sink.

The plumber complains and says he has regular hours, but the doctor persists. The doctor says, “I get called into work late all the time, so you can too.” The plumber gives in and arrives a half-hour later. Upon arriving, the plumber looks at the sink but is clearly uninterested. He hands the doctor two aspirin and says, “I have a golf match to get to. Take two and call me in the morning.”

1. Why did the plumber get arrested?

Plumber’s crack.

1. A plumber wakes up and goes to the bathroom.

After doing his business he stands up, turns around, and says, “See ya at work!”

1. “A group of plumbers is called a flood of plumbers.”

Plumber Jokes That Are A Bit Naughty

1. What would a plumber like for their birthday?

A pipe cleaning.

1. What would a plumber like after that?

To lay some pipe afterward.

1. What’s a plumber’s favorite casino game?

Craps.

1. A plumber is the only person who can take a leak while fixing a leak!
2. Plumbers are the only peo­ple on Earth that can feel good about being sh*tty.