TikTok Mom Explains How "Toddler Math" Is Just One Giant Contradiction

Toddlers are some of the funniest and cutest little humans to grace this earth. However, toddlers are also little contradictory minions who love to keep their parents on their toes. One mom summed up the absolute f**ckery that is being a parent to a toddler in what she calls “toddler math.”

We’ve heard of girl and boy math, and even baby math, but toddler math is on a whole new level.

“Toddler math will have you out here contemplating life decisions,” TikTok user @FamPhiji says in her now-viral video.

“Toddler math is not having anything to do then I sit down to do something ... I just sat down! I was sitting next to you for 30 minutes! You didn't want anything to do with me!”

She goes onto explain that basically, toddler math is one giant change to jinx yourself into total chaos by thinking anything with your toddler is a sure thing.

“Toddler math is telling someone your toddler is potty trained, and now they're no longer potty trained. They don't know what a potty is! They don't remember anything,” she says.

“If you're taller wants a banana, but you open that banana, they no longer want the banana, but if you eat that banana now, they don't understand why you're eating it, and now they're crying cuz it's gone.”

The mom then launches into a hilarious tirade about the complications that come with trying to get a toddler on a schedule or to be cooperative with any sort of routine.

“Play time is play time. Bath time is bath time. Bedtime is play time. Nap time is snack time and play time. Snack time is snack time and dinner time is also snack time,” she jokes.

Speaking of bedtime, she notes that there is no rhyme or reason to bedtime because your child will always end up flipping the script. The toddler math ain’t mathing!

“If your toddler misses a nap. you decide to put them to bed early because they miss said nap. They can wake up in the middle of the night. If for some toddler reason they go to sleep past their bedtime, he's still gonna hit you with their early bird special,” she says.

After her video went viral, tons of other toddler moms commiserated with the OP, sharing their own toddler math equations.

“Toddler math is following mom everywhere at home but running away when out,” one user wrote.

Another said, “Toddler math: sleeping for 20min in car is equivalent to 12hrs of sleeping”

“Toddler math is buying extra of a snack they’re into all for them to hate it next week,” another wrote.

“Crying because it's bedtime, homework time or any damn time like we don't do the same routine daily. like I sprung something new on you = toddler math,” another wrote.

The OP replied, “The SAME routine 😂😂‼️”

In a follow-up video, she dove into even more toddler math equations like yesterday’s snack being gross today and no toy is ever more fun than the box it came in.