$$ & Sense

Teaching Kids The Value Of A Dollar These Days Is A Wild Ride

It’s a totally different ballgame.

by Meg St-Esprit
Ariela Basson/Scary Mommy; Getty Images, Shutterstock
Money, Honey

When I was a kid, there were commercials, and then there were television shows. An ad during Mister Rogers convinced me I couldn’t live without an Easy Bake Oven, but the show itself? Purely educational. My point is that there was a clear line between what was trying to sell me something, and what was designed to entertain me or teach me something. Whereas these days, my kids can’t tell the difference between an advertisement and any other content — because often, there isn’t a difference. Their favorite YouTubers are trying to “spend $1,000 at the store in one hour” or redoing their room every other week while promoting the latest home decor brand, leaving my kids with very little sense of how money works in the real world.

In short, trying to teach kids the value of a dollar is a whole different ball game these days. In an attempt to raise functional adults who understand how money works, we’ve begun giving them some freedom with their money — even if that means they blow it all. (Which is maybe the best way to learn when it’s gone, it’s gone.) Whether it's cold hard cash or a debit card designed for kids (we’ve tried a few, including Greenlight, Go Henry, and the Venmo Teen card), giving our kids access to most of their money has been a wild ride.

We certainly set aside portions of birthday money and larger financial gifts, but when they earn $10 for cutting someone’s grass, that’s theirs. Living in a walkable town full of endless spots to buy Prime and Pokemon cards has proven to be a great lesson in just how far a dollar (can’t) go.

This week, one of my kids took $10 to the farmer’s market and came home grumbling that just a few snacks used up all of their money in minutes. I understand that frustration — my little treats have risen astronomically in cost recently too — but it also sparked a great conversation about impulse buying, saving, and thinking about what we want to put our money towards. We talked about balance. This week might be a great week to splurge on lemonade and cookies, but it's okay to decide to not do that every time the market comes around. (I need this reminder, too, according to my husband… but that dumpling stand is so good)

There have been some hard lessons. We began with letting our kids take cash with them, but after one lost $20 and was crushed when nobody turned it into the police, we switched to mainly digital currency that can be locked with a tap in an app if a card is lost.

We’ve also had moments of buyer’s remorse. A collectible toy shop recently opened up in our town, and one of my kids spent allll of their money on collectible action figures they hoped to resell on eBay. But, being 10 years old, the temptation to open those packages was just too great. Suddenly those pricey toys weren’t worth much at all. I shared stories of the stupid things I blew my own money on through the years so they knew it happens to the best of us, but I also let them sit and feel sad about their choice. I am still sad about the Express credit card I opened and maxed out at 19, after all — and that experience absolutely taught me a lesson about impulse buying and trashing your credit score.

There’s many days I bite my tongue, but as we give our kids this freedom to stumble and fall I see them learning, too. I’ve watched, from a distance, as their card is declined at a register because they forgot to think about taxes, again. I’ve resisted the urge to step in and offer $1 to cover it and watched them choose an item to put back. I’ve resisted hovering so that they can figure it out. And they are, little by little.

My mother gave my kids money at the end of this school year as a reward for working hard and trying their best. They each chose a small portion of their cash to have fun with and gave me the rest for an upcoming trip to Niagara Falls. In the days since, they’ve each had a moment where they considered dipping into those funds for something that caught their eye (like a giant gummy bear), but they’ve held strong. I’ll be honest, I am surprised — but also proud.

Meg St-Esprit, M. Ed., is a journalist and essayist based in Pittsburgh, PA. She’s a mom to four kids via adoption as well as a twin mom. She loves to write about parenting, education, trends, and the general hilarity of raising little people.