We Can Talk To Our Kids About Food Without "Good" Or "Bad" Labels — Here’s How
A positive relationship with food starts at home.
If you’ve felt like the conversation around food and body image has taken a few steps back recently, you might be on to something. Diet culture seems to have done a 180 since the short, blessed era of 2010s body positivity, and it’s feeling suspiciously early 2000s recently. (Recession indicator? Maybe!)
You can’t protect your kid from every aspect of diet culture, but, on the bright side, a positive relationship with food starts at home. So, how do you lay the groundwork?
One mom, Cloe, shared on her TikTok page how she manages conversations around food in her household to promote food neutrality for her kids — and it’s as easy as swapping a few phrases!
1. Instead of saying, “It’s important to eat healthy,” replace it with, “It’s important to eat a variety of foods.”
“I say it's important to eat a variety of foods because foods aren't inherently good or bad or healthy and unhealthy,” Cloe explained.
True! No food is innately unhealthy — they do have different purposes, and we’ll get into that later.
2. Instead of saying, “Yes, you can have another cookie,” (or, “No, you can’t), ask, “Does your body want more?”
We can’t accurately tell anyone else if they’re full or if they’re still hungry. We simply don’t know! But, what parents can do is teach children to recognize their own hunger queues and to pay attention to their own bodies.
“It's not about if I say you can have another cookie, it's about how you feel in the moment,” Cloe said. “It's important that they like learn to notice how they feel and if they actually want more.”
Preferably, we would save some Oreos for Mom. But, listen to your tummy!
3. Instead of saying, “We need to eat our veggies” (or fruit, or protein, or anything) say, “Here’s why we need to eat different things.”
Telling kids to eat certain foods just because they’re “healthy” doesn’t give them any better understanding of their food than before.
“I'll say, let's make sure we have some fiber too, so we don't get a belly ache or something like that, or let's make sure we have protein so we stay full for a long time,” Cloe explained.
Now, that’s an explanation that reveals the purpose of different foods, and doesn’t just dump them into a (pretty meaningless) category of “good” or “bad.” And, speaking of so-called “bad” food...
4. Instead of saying, “Sugar is unhealthy,” ask, “Do we need quick energy or long energy?”
Yup, sugar is not bad, and serves a purpose just like any other food! Sugar provides the body with energy, but just like anything, there’s a time and place for it. Cloe recommends asking kids what kind of energy they need, to help them determine if a sugary snack is the thing they’re searching for, or if it’s time for a more sustainable complex carb (carbs = also not bad).
“I can actually demonstrate how foods are quick energy and long energy to them, because I'm a distance runner,” she said. “They know that I eat candy in the middle of my long runs, and that is good for my body in the moment, because I'm running long distances and I need quick energy.”
Makes sense!
And, the comments agreed, with users applauding Cloe’s food philosophy.
“My mom raised me like this, and as a 31-year-old woman, it is the most valuable thing she taught me. The relationship I have with my body and food is so neutral,” one user said.
“80% of people need to hear this and apply it to themselves. Not only their kids,” said another.
Food neutrality is an important lesson for folks of any age. And, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be practicing it — my body needs another cookie.
