This Mom Wants People To Stop Generalizing Kids’ Personalities Based On Their Ages
"Let’s normalize asking parents how they’re doing before sharing our own personal experience."
There’s always that one parent who loves to insert their own personal experience and opinions onto others, typically with the phrase, “Oh just wait!”
There is really nothing more frustrating when you’re trying to vent about your parenting woes than someone who just does nothing to actively listen and would rather generalize every single child’s personality based on where they land in an age bracket.
“Oh, you think this age is bad? Wait until they’re XYZ! Then s**t really hits the fan!”
No thanks!
One mom wants to normalize asking parents what they’re doing before launching into a personal rant about their kids, noting that every kid and every parent is different. There is no universal experience when it comes to parenting at certain ages.
“So, when people ask me how old my kid is, and I say, ‘Oh, he's three.’ I get one of two responses. Either, 'Oh, that's such a sweet age. You must love it,' or, 'Hmm, that age can be tough, but just wait until he's x years old. It just gets worse.’ And both of those are really hard things to hear as a parent,” TikTok mom Sam (@lifeandstylebysam), explained in her TikTok video.
“Yes, this age can be fun and beautiful and lovely, but it can also be really hard.”
She goes on to say that when people remark on her son’s age, the comments infiltrate into her feelings as a mother.
“And hearing people say, you know, 'This is such a great age and you must be loving it,’ makes me feel bad if I'm not loving it.' And then on the flip side, if people say, 'It's just gonna get worse,' that's not very helpful either.”
Instead, Sam suggests when asking a parent how old their child is, follow up with how they’re doing, how it’s going, etc. rather than commenting some generalized B.S. about how certain kids act at certain ages (ie. Terrible Twos, Threenager, etc.)
Her video brought on a mixed reaction, with some users noting that they mean well with their opinions while others agreed with her opinion.
“I know it’s hard to hear. But we want to prepare you,” one user said.
Another assured, “It gets better. 💙”
Surely, there are people out there who mean well with their advice and opinions about what’s coming next for any parent, but why don’t we just let each parent experience their kids in their own way in their own time? Some parents don't need the reminder to “cherish the little moments” or start worrying about how awful those teen girls are. Mind your business!
