Parenting

Reality TV Star Stassi Schroeder Doesn’t Know How She’ll Explain Her Former Self-Harm to Toddler

"How will I ever explain to her that this was something that I chose?"

by Katie Garrity
BURBANK, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 13: Stassi Schroeder Clark and Hartford Clark arrive at Los Angeles Blue...
Jerod Harris/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Former Vanderpump Rules star and current podcaster, Stassi Schroeder, isn't sure how she's going to approach her former experience with self-harm to her toddler daughter, Hartford.

While chatting with Bustle about her new book You Can't Have It All, the mom of two, 36, opened up about her experience with self-harm for the first time publicly, noting that she credits her three-year-old daughter for finally talking about it publicly.

"When I look at myself naked, Hartford will see a little line, and she'll be like, 'Mommy, ouchie,' “ Schroeder told Bustle. "I'm like, 'Oh, God, that feels dirty. How will I ever explain to her that this was something that I chose?'"

Schroeder, who talks about her past with self-harm in her new book, hopes that being open and honest about her experience will inspire others to talk about how they're feeling.

"It just feels like it's been a secret, and I don't like secrets. I think that's part of maybe why I do what I do — podcasts, just living out loud," Schroder explained. "Because there is this feeling of: 'I'm free. Everyone knows my sh*t. I don't have to hide anything."

According to The Recovery Village, about 17% of all people will self-harm during their lifetime with the average age of the first incident of self-harm being just 13 years old.

Forty-five percent of people use cutting as their method of self-injury. And while 50% of people seek help for their self-harm, they’re only reaching out to friends instead of medical professionals.

Schroeder shares her daughter and 11-month-old son Messer Rhys with husband Beau Clark, 44.

Earlier this year, the reality TV star opened up about the transition to becoming a mother of two, noting how having two kids is “so different” and “really intense.”

“I think no one properly warned me that going from one to two is harder than going from zero to one. Because now it's like me and my husband are just like ... one of them's on the other,” she told PEOPLE.

“So there's less time for us to just be adults. But we're getting to the point where we fully have the hang of things. So life gets easier every day.”

Are you or someone you know in crisis? Learn more about using helplines for self-harm.